By now, chances are you know every single minuscule thing about Britney Spears' disastrous slot at the MTV VMAs on Sunday - and how it has effectively destroyed mankind for good - but there was always going to be more.

While a bewildered planet is still trying to work out why Britney Spears' MTV VMA performance of Gimme More was so feverishly amateurish that it made the time she tongued Madonna look like the bloody Cirque Du Soleil, backstage rumours have been leaking out all over the place to try and explain all reason for Britney's world-class display of podgy dead-eyed stumbling. And the latest one involves Britney Spears arguing with her hairdresser right before her performance, possibly for having the audacity to own a penis. So that's hair and shoes and men that have now been blamed for Britney Spears' MTV flub - and the vagina's had a mention too. This is like the funniest episode of Sex And The City never made, or something.

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