I started responding to comments on the changes post last Friday (9/14). Today’s comment came from Miranda, who said, “Another interesting topic might be the definition of success. I know people I think are great leaders, but don⿿t have a lot of money or glory, which are two things most people in our society today equate with success.”

I think that leading and success only get connected in hindsight.

In the past, I don’t believe that people set out to be leaders. They set out to be managers, engineers, accountants, sales people, moms, dads, researchers, rabbis/ministers/etc., politicians, firemen, actors, etc. Sure, many had dreams of being the best whatever, making it to the top of their world, being recognized by others, etc.

When one did something extraordinary the people around them often hailed them as “leaders” and sometimes the media picked it up and lauded them as “leaders” and so “leader” became part of their official title.

But that was then and this is now.

“Now” started with research, often scholarly, into leading, leaders, leadership and associated terms. Then came the rise of the “leadership industry,” the teaching of leadership skills and enormous social pressure to prove one’s worth by becoming a leader, with the flip side that you were somehow worth less if you didn’t aspire to leadership. Ugh.

Regarding success. Pretty much everyone wants to be successful, but there are two distinct definitions of which you need to stay aware⿿public and private.

Since time began, public success has involved three things, possessions/money, glory, and power⿿whether overt or covert. Covert is the hardest to recognize, since the holder may not even be aware of it. Plus, power in itself isn’t good or bad, like many things its use and the reasons for using it are what make it acceptable leadership or an abuse of power⿿unfortunately, acceptability is subjective, i.e., you agree or not.

Private success sounds simpler, but may not be. It’s whatever makes you happy, which is completely subjective, often changing as you grow and change, so in many ways it’s a moving target and harder to hit.

Problems arise because the two definitions are often at odds and satisfying one means stymieing the other. In that instance I always recommend going with “private,” since being unhappy usually translates to broken relationships and bad health.

After rereading this, I’m not sure I really answered Miranda’s question, but hopefully I stimulated your thinking and provoked some interesting discussions.

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