Uh, yeah, right.

Ugh. Jess, did you call the paps again?

It's odd. The expression on Dane Cook's face is eerily similar to that of John Mayer when he was shtupping Jess - you could probably superimpose one over the other. And I bet if you took a picture of Nick Lachey when he was married to her and added it to the mix, it would lead to only one conclusion: she must be a lousy date. Or maybe she's just lousy in bed. Imagine the disappointment of her suitors - all that work and then ... zzzz.

Of course we have no proof to substantiate our theory, but hey, we're gossipists - we don't need no stinkin' proof! What fun would that be? If I wanted to have every word I write fact-checked I'd be working for the NY Times.

So what could it be? I don't think it's Papa Joe anymore - since he was a big reason behind the dissolution of her marriage, I don't think she lets him interfere with her love life anymore. I don't think he and John Mayer got along. Can you imagine his reaction to the Bam Margera/Johnny Knoxville stories?

Seriously, I feel bad for Jess. She's a stunningly gorgeous woman and she really can sing. She's done exceedingly well putting her name on shoes, hair, perfume ... God only knows what's next. But she couldn't act her way out of a wet paper bag, and she needs to realize that, for everyone's sake. If she just lets Daisy screen her dates, she'll be OK. Daisy would never steer her wrong.