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So here’s the scenario. Mama Spears decided that she was going to be helpful, and so she showed a graphic video of some lady pushing a demon spawn out of her mysterious lady parts. Jamie Lynn Spears promptly puked, passed out, and declared that she would like to be knocked out for the birth and just wake up when it’s over. Let’s analyze this little story, shall we?

First of all, why is Lynne Spears suddenly deciding that THIS is the time she’s going to step up and be helpful? Shouldn’t that time have been, oh, I don’t know, when she was PIMPING OUT HER DAUGHTERS? Just a thought.

Secondly, birth is ugly. Seriously, It Is Nasty. I mean, come on: you are pooping out something the size of a small chimp out your pikachu. Things are going to happen that are not approved by Miss Manners, you feel me? I can identify with Jamie Lynn getting a little woozy watching this in live technicolor, but hey: you play with the pickle, you gots to pay the piper (I tried to come up with something witty there and it kind of worked, don’t you think?).

Anywho, I don’t know what Jamie Lynn is so worried about. She knows that BritBrit is going to show up in the hospital room with a bag of Cheetos and a couple syringes of morphine.

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