This can’t be for real. What is she going to teach? How To Be A Skank? Blow Jobs 101? How To Flash Your Cooch? Dating for Fun and Profit?

Paris Hilton has been offered big bucks to speak at the The Learning Annex Real Estate and Wealth Expos in Seattle, Chicago, New York and Boston. The soon-to-be-free heiress has been offered one million buckaroos to teach a one-hour class on “How to Build Your Brand.” Get your product advice from the expertise of the socialite, reality TV star, sex tape star victim, paparazzi princess, nightclub entrepreneur convict!

Paris once told Newsweek, “I consider myself a businesswoman and a brand.” The Learning Annex President and Founder Bill Zanker believes “Paris Hilton is a brilliant entrepreneur who has built an incredible brand.” Brilliant? Her hair dye is brilliant.

The million-dollar offer is the second highest speaking fee ever offered in the world, behind The Learning Annex’s star instructor, Donald Trump. Hilton would share the stage with the Donald, grillmeister George Foreman, toothy motivator Tony Robbins and other business leaders.

What brand are we talking about here? The brand of partying all night, driving drunk, making sex tapes, then crying to Mommy when things don’t go your way? Spare me.

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