I loved the headline when it popped into my Google alerts: Get what you want this Mother’s Day: Twist the ex’s arm. I followed the link, eager to read some pithy article on how to get deadbeat dads to fess up and cough up back child support.
Instead, my eager clicking was quickly replaced by WTF…
The article on the Globe and Mail by Rebecca Eckler isn’t a how-to guerrilla guide on forcing your ex to pay up. Instead, it’s a weird tribute to getting your ex to acknowledge Mother’s Day. The author sent her ex a schmaltzy fundraising appeal on behalf of her four year old daughter:
“Hi Daddy,” I typed, as my daughter was fast asleep. “Mommy has been talking about Mother’s Day. I only have 143 pennies in my piggy bank. She’s the best mommy ever. She’s been pretty exhausted. I’d like to get her something nice. Can you help? Love you.”
It was a slightly pathetic, but possibly cute, way of reminding my daughter’s father about Mother’s Day.
My attitude is… why share it with him? Why make the ex a part of a very special day for mothers and their children? If you’re not a full time, 24/7 family unit, why force the ex to acknowledge what a good mom you are? What’s the POINT?
I mean, I can’t even get five months of back child support out of my ex, who only just responded to my repeated emails about the situation (not that he apologized for being such an irresponsible man or for shirking his responsibilities to his only son)… why on earth would I ask him to tell me I’m doing a good job and buy me a present on behalf of my child??
Other examples in the article are less prone to making me wonder what on earth the author is talking about. I can understand and appreciate the other people in a single mother’s extended family making an effort to recognize all she’s done. My mom and son are plotting something wonderful, some project on which they have been working for weeks, it seems.
And that’s really what it’s about. My son is wonderful, and at night when we snuggle and steal one last hug and kiss, his smile and quiet whisper, “You’re the best mama ever…” as he drifts to sleep is all the validation this single mom needs.
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