I just finished writing my self-evaluation for the review process at work. Probably didn’t say nearly enough about the concrete things I’ve accomplished in the five months I’ve been there. Probably never will be able to wrap my head around all the changes I’ve gone through… but I’m here to tell you: you can succeed.

If you have stumbled upon this blog at the beginning of your journey as a single mother, you might be looking for more concrete advice than I can give, considering the very wide world in which we live and how different the basic needs of food, clothing, shelter, comfort, and support, can be. I can’t tell you to go down to X office on Y Street and fill out the PDQ form to get the divorce started, or that the fertility clinic the next town over from you does a great job for women who want to be a mother but who have stopped waiting for Mr. Right to come along.

What I can tell you is that it gets easier. It’s hell at first. It’s far too difficult to breathe some mornings to ever believe that the pain diminishes, that the inexperience turns into a quiet competence you don’t even notice. But it does. You will find a side of you you never knew existed, one that can handle anything with grace, humor, and a minimum of temper. Or not. You might see yourself in a light that makes improvements an imperative. You’ll do what you have to do, if for no other reason but the fact that there’s another, little life out there who depends on you, and needs you to be the best human being you can be.

You’ll learn to breathe again. You’ll learn to laugh again. You’ll find your sense of self and your pride in self restored, if you navigate the path carefully. You’ll be whole again, if your divorce made you feel less than everything you could be. And if you are here through the joy of single motherhood, voluntarily, adoption or birth, you will find a fullness of heart and a light in your glance that makes all the sleepless nights, the no one to turn to days, worth every second-dragging moment. So where ever you are in this single mother journey, this single mom path… take a moment to recognize all the amazing things you have accomplished.

Get some sleep, mamas. Tomorrow is another day. More joy. Always seek more joy.

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