Things to Avoid: Hyberdating

By  June 02, 2011

There is so much to learn when entering a new relationship—their likes, their dislikes, their kissing technique, and their spooning preferences to name a few. While you may be wrapped up in the bliss of young love, your best friend—who up until now probably has been attached at the hip—is usually left in the dust. Hyberdating causes many to lose touch completely with the world outside of their boyfriend and lose friends along the way.

While the term was originally coined on UrbanDictionary.com, it covers a dating phenomenon that goes back a long time. There are even studies that concur with it, too. According to Personal Relationships, it found when most gained a significant other, they lost their two best friends. It’s one thing to spend a few weeks getting to know the guy and another thing to completely cut off friends to spend all of your spare time with your significant other. Your friends love you too! And they’re likely to be there for you longer than the boyfriend.

Scheduling in some girl time is healthy and needed if things are meant to last. After all, absence makes the heart grown fonder, right? Your friends will forgive you for skipping out on them for a few weeks, but after that expect they won’t be so keen on inviting you to come with them. Sometimes all it takes is a simple text to ask how they are doing, letting them know that even though you’re in love (or infatuated), you still care about them.

And don’t make the new boyfriend the only subject you speak about. While your girls will be dying to know what’s been keeping you away for so long and how great he must be, they also want to know what else is going on in your life. And they’ll want to fill you in on what’s been going on with them. Remember, there is more to life than boys, and your girls should be able to carry a regular conversation with you.

The golden rule to balancing the boyfriend and the besties? Treat them as you would want them to treat you. Your friends will eventually want to meet him, but don’t surprise them by bringing him to tag along to your girls night. If he is “the one” he should understand how important your friends are to you. If he isn’t Mr. Right, your friends will be there to comfort and support you if things go kaput. And when you get over him, they’ll be right there when you ask yourself what you ever saw in him in the first place.