Tips To Master The 'No Contact Rule' Because It's Time To Move On

You know you're ready to move on from a relationship when you realize you'll be better off without them. Oftentimes, it's difficult to move on when you've invested tons of time, effort, and energy into the other person. You don't want to believe your investment has gone to waste. Many people in this situation consider staying wrapped up in relationships that aren't worth their time as a way to reject the dark thought of wasted time. 

At the end of the day, it's your decision to figure out when to call it quits to focus on a brighter future. When it comes to healthy dating, you should always choose people who add value to your life by encouraging you, uplifting you, and making you feel happier in your day-to-day experiences. Coming to terms with the fact that your partner isn't someone you're meant to be with is devastating — but not the end of the world. Here's how you can master the "no contact rule" after breaking up with someone who isn't meant to be in your life for the long haul.

When you block your ex on social media, you revoke their visual access to all the updates of your life. If they still have access to your social media accounts, they can see what you're doing, where you're going, and who you're with. Now that you're single, putting yourself out there with new potential suitors is perfectly fine, and you should feel comfortable posting a stunning selfie with a new match before date night. None of this knowledge belongs to your ex.

In more extreme cases, blocking your ex on social media won't be enough because they'll still creep onto your pages from fake accounts. In this case, it may be in your best interest to temporarily put all your profiles on private mode or take a social media break so they won't have visual access to you. This doesn't mean they have to be disabled forever. You can choose the amount of time you're comfortable with.

The same reason you'd want to delete all your old pictures with your ex, you should also want to clear out all your old text message threads. Odds are, there are tons of lovey-dovey messages that will have you thinking about the blissful times you shared. Unfortunately, your relationship ended for a reason. When you go through text messages that shed light on some of the sweeter moments, it will distract you from the reality of what you've really been through. 

If your text messages with your ex happen to be full of toxicity, on the other hand, it still isn't the best idea to keep them saved. Difficult conversations you had with your ex that made you feel terrible about yourself aren't worth revisiting at any point. Reading through messages they sent you that were cruel or heartless will put you into a lower vibrational state of mind.

When you're going through a breakup with someone, it's easy to get sucked into a fairytale land where you only remember the good things they brought to your life. In reality, you've chosen to walk away from the relationship for a reason, which you should honor. Whatever your reason, remember that it's valid and should be respected. To remind yourself why the relationship should never be revived, you should write down a list of all your ex's icks. 

Creating an icks list is a great tool to describe all the things they did that disgusted you, pissed you off, or frustrated you endlessly. Keep track of everything they did that gave you the ick. Perhaps you never witnessed them flossing their teeth before bed, or you hated how they'd get snippy with servers. It doesn't matter how random your icks might sound. It's necessary to write them all down to remind yourself why you shouldn't break your no-contact rule.

Self-care is nothing to feel guilty about and becomes even more vital than normal if you're going through a breakup with someone in a full-fledged, no-contact manner. Some breakups aren't as dramatic, and maybe you can even see yourself being chill friends with them in the future. Amicable splits don't necessarily need to lead you down the route of a no-contact rule. Other breakups are far more serious, though. 

With some toxic exes, going no contact is the only thing you can do to protect yourself from more ongoing suffering and heartache. Instead of focusing on how difficult it is to refrain from contacting your ex, shift your focus to multiple self-care days filled with enjoyable experiences. Some of the most common forms of self-care to consider include writing in your journal, heading to the spa, getting extra sleep, socializing with friends, listening to good music, and taking personal days off of work.

There's no denying that regular physical activity is a game-changer for everyone in terms of physical and mental health. The more you exercise, the more your health will improve. Going through breakups can be incredibly stressful and overwhelming. The good news is that getting some exercise will reduce feelings of depression while enhancing your mood, increasing your energy levels, and improving your sleep. All of these things come into play when you're dealing with an ex you've chosen to go no contact with. 

Instead of basking in your misery, you can opt for different forms of exercise that will heighten the production of endorphins in your brain. Moving your body as often as you can will undoubtedly lead to the release of more endorphins, which are happy hormones. You don't have to punish yourself in the gym on machines like the Stairmaster or uphill-inclined treadmill. You can get moving in Zumba dance classes, Pilate sessions, or water aerobics.

It's the perfect time to start filling your schedule with social outings. This is especially helpful in distracting your mind when going no contact. While you were wrapped up in your past relationship, you might not have carved tons of time out to hang out with friends. 

When a friend brings an idea up for something to do on a Friday night, your instant response should always be "yes!" as you learn to put yourself out there again. This shows that you're ready to rebuild any connections that might've faded away throughout your past romantic relationship. 

If you don't necessarily have any friendships to fall back on after becoming single, it's up to you to start trying to make new friends in different places by leaning into different opportunities. You can sign up for friend-swiping apps if that interests you. Other solid places to meet good friends include political rallies, church, volunteer groups, fitness classes, and recreational sports teams.

Planning a trip is a fabulous thing to do while going no contact with your ex. It's your choice to invite a friend or two to accompany you, but you can always go on your own as a solo traveler. It can sometimes be difficult to get friends on the same page as you about spending a certain amount of money on a certain destination in a particular timeframe. If it's way too difficult to plan a trip with other people involved, don't let that block you from enjoying yourself in a new environment. 

You can plan a solo trip that's incredibly safe if you follow the proper precautions and keep your bases covered. When planning your trip, you need to ask yourself a handful of questions regarding budget and destination. The bottom line, though, is that this trip fuels your desire to remain in no contact.

The worst thing you can do is waste precious time thinking that going no contact is a way to get a reaction out of your ex. The purpose of going to contact is for you and you alone. This is a vital step to take in your healing process while trying to move on from someone who isn't right for you. If your desire to go no contact is simply to make your ex feel bad, you're not approaching this with the right mindset. 

This isn't supposed to be an act of aggression. This is supposed to be something you do for yourself to create more peace in your heart and mind. It's true that going no contact may certainly evoke a knee-jerk reaction from your ex, who will possibly try to contact you however possible. Still, this shouldn't be the reason you choose to take this route in the first place.

You've decided to go no contact with your ex, and you probably don't want to be in this situation again with another partner. That being said, now is the time to define your boundaries for future relationships. What is the reason for your decision to go no contact with your ex? Is it because they didn't respect you enough to remain faithful? Is it because they would talk down to you in condescending and sarcastic tones? 

Think about your reason for going no contact with your ex and define your boundaries for relationships to come in the future. Make sure you'll never be in a position to have to go no contact with another person you romantically involve yourself with down the line. Whoever you date in the future will have to respect your boundaries from the beginning.

As much as you might wish you could be over the pain of everything in one day, it's essential to understand that the healing process takes time. No one is able to move on past a breakup in 24 hours or less, no matter how much they wish they could. The good news about going no contact with your ex helps the healing process speed along a little faster. 

The more time you waste keeping lines of communication open with your ex, the longer your breakup will last. And when you continue staying in contact with your past love, you drag out the breakup longer than needed. Going no contact is an ideal way of making a clean break. There's no reason to fall back into old patterns with an ex who isn't good for you after the lines of communication have been completely cut off.

The harsh reality is that you might never get the closure you're hoping for when you go no contact with an ex. Getting closure is beautiful, but it's not necessarily something to hold your breath for. Instead of holding out hope that the two of you can walk away amicably, it's better to let go of any expectations.

If you have to go to the extreme measure of going no contact with someone, it typically means they have narcissistic, selfish, or toxic qualities that you simply can't be around any longer. Or, perhaps you don't trust yourself fully to refrain from replying to their messages post-breakup, so your only option is to cut that line of communication completely. Regardless, please know that it's okay to let them go without closure so you can move on with your life.