Have you ever wondered what beauty vloggers would have been like in the ’90s? Would they have instructed us to cake on body glitter and apply iridescent eye shadow like it was going out of style? (Thankfully, it was.)
Well, Jamie French, a vlogger who regularly posts tutorials and hauls, recently jumped on the nostalgia bandwagon by parodying what a beauty how-to might have looked like in 1999. The result is a hilariously spot-on video, highlighting all of the questionable beauty choices we made back in the day.
French begins the video by sipping Surge soda (remember this stuff?) and thanking the audience for “popping this video into your VCR.” She proceeds to apply a foundation that’s clearly too dark for her skin tone with a makeup sponge (which she refers to as “this piece of crap from your mom’s bathroom”) and smears silvery eye shadow all the way up to her eyebrows, which she then draws on pencil-thin. Along the way, she also instructs viewers to “resist the urge to blend your makeup.”
It’s all painfully accurate — and completely hysterical.
French also delves into the ultimate ’90s beauty trend: cartoonish, overdrawn lip liner. She applies a dark liner, and then fills it in with a super light shade of gloss, advising viewers to “try to make it frosty.” The frostier the better, right?
And, of course, no ’90s beauty look is complete without body glitter. “Just shake it and cover your body with it,” French says as she aggressively applies a roll-on body glitter (this stuff still exists, btw). “You really want to get it so it gets crusted to your arm hair. You add some to your eyes, add some to your cheeks.”
She finishes the post with a hairstyle how-to. Snap clips included, natch.
If there were beauty YouTubers when I was younger: “Pull hair out of the cap with the hook and bleach. Roll body glitter on your chest. Paint your nails with White Out, and just smear a pound of foundation all over your face. Make sure it doesn’t match your skin tone at all.”
French mentions that the video was inspired by a tweet from @mommy_cusses, who ponders what YouTubers would be like in the late ’90s. And here you have it. Not only is the video nostalgic, but it also makes us super grateful we’ve moved on from these cringe-worthy beauty trends. Click play below for a good laugh.