Although she is hailed the queen of confidence, Lizzo admits she still struggles sometimes with loving herself. Her unabashed positivity is what shot her music into the mainstream after a decade of hustling and touring, but despite having just received the prestigious title of TIME‘s Entertainer of the Year, the 31-year-old “Truth Hurts” singer told the magazine that she’s spent a good portion of 2019 battling self-doubt.
“I’ve been doing positive music for a long-ass time,” she said. “Then the culture changed. There were a lot of things that weren’t popular but existed, like body positivity, which at first was a form of protest for fat bodies and black women and has now become a trendy, commercialized thing. Now I’ve seen it reach the mainstream. Suddenly I’m mainstream!”
With anthems like “Truth Hurts” and “Good as Hell” on her Grammy-sweeping record Cuz I Love You — not to mention all of her risqué Instagram pics and daring red carpet looks — Lizzo quickly became a symbol of unapologetic self-love in 2019. However, she revealed that she’s been struggling with confidence throughout much of the year, which comes as shock to many of her fans.
“I was experiencing a little bit of unhappiness. I was not happy with the way I felt to my body,” she said. “I didn’t feel sexy, and I didn’t know when it was going to end. There were times when I would go onstage and be like, ‘Y’all, I’m not going to lie. I’m not feeling myself.’ Sometimes I’d break down and cry.”
Earlier this year, the singer also said that the “confident” label revealed a hurtful double standard in pop culture. “Make space for me,” she told Glamour back in August. “Make space for this generation of artists who are really fearless in self-love. They’re out here. They want to be free. I think allowing that space to be made is really what’s going to shift the narrative in the future. Let’s stop talking about it and make more space for people who are about it.”
But through all the ups and downs, connecting with her audience is what gets Lizzo through. “Sometimes the audience would just cheer to make me feel better,” she said after revealing her struggles. “I was getting sick a lot. I was like, ‘What the f— is going on? I need to fall back in love with my body.’”
Lizzo, like anyone, isn’t going to be 100% that b*tch all of the time. Even body positive queens have their moments of self-doubt, and that’s a refreshing thing to be reminded of.