If you’ve yet to acquire and decorate a Christmas tree (or holiday shrub, or perhaps a seasonal bush–maybe even a pineapple?), it’s not too late. It’s also a great time to invest in new ornaments because suddenly, the market is flooded with cheeky homages to popular culture, feminism (aka the word of the year), and even some of our favorite foods. They’re definitely not your grandmother’s tree decorations, but that’s exactly why we like them. Keep scrolling for some of the most usual yet relevant Christmas ornaments for 2017.
This year you can top your tree with Beyoncé, Hillary Clinton, or Serena Williams, thanks to Women To Look Up To, a British company manufacturing miniature sculptures of our favorite badass women. Because why have an angel on top of your tree when you can have a queen? Queen Bey, that is.
Etsy user SnugglyBugCo is making these knit boobie ornaments, which come in flesh colors, as well as red and green colorways for a decidedly festive take on the human breast. As much as we want to cover our whole tree in them, we think they’d also be the perfect gift for a new mom, a #FreeTheNipple supporter, or really anyone who appreciates boobs (which, TBH, is everyone).
If you are a millennial, you’re pretty much contractually obligated to love avocado toast. In fact, rumor has it, the reason you can’t afford a home is because you’re frittering away all your cash on it. So why not spend your dough on something a little more permanent, like a glass avo toast ornament you can love and laugh at for years to come (in your rented apartment, that is).
If you claim to no longer be amused by the poop emoji, you’re lying to yourself. That little dude’s big, you-know-what-eating grin is never not on point, especially when texting about all of the sh*tty things that happened this year. Just maybe turn it around or something when the more traditional relatives come to call…or, better yet, don’t.
KFC Fried Chicken Christmas Ornaments
KFC’s marketing department has clearly been working overtime this year, coming up with products like chicken-flavored bath bombs, chicken-scented sunscreen, and these branded Christmas ornaments, which feature—what else?—a bucket overflowing with crispy fried chicken. There’s also a wing, a drumstick, and a pack of fries, lest you forget about the restaurant’s diverse offerings. Unfortunately, they’re currently only available to customers in New Zealand. But, hey, there’s always next year.
If you’re more of a traditionalist when it comes to brunch, hang this slab of glittering bacon on your tree, because yeah, why not just turn Christmas into an homage to all of the internet’s favorite foods? Before you ask: Yes, there is a pizza one, too.
Boobs not totally your thing? Check out these Vaginaments (get it?), complete with a little jingle bell clitoris (which, we feel obligated to point out, is not anatomically correct). Hang yours by itself, or alongside a boob for a full homage to the beauty of the female body.