Beyoncé seems to have it all – the career of our her dreams, the perfect family — but her success did not come without its share of struggles. And when it comes to how she views all of her accomplishments, the 38-year-old megastar is putting less value on being the best and more on the “deeper meaning” of life.
In the January 2020 cover story for Elle, Beyoncé opens up about the losses she has suffered, including multiple miscarriages before she and husband Jay-Z welcomed their daughter, Blue Ivy, in 2012, and how they contributed to her change in perspective. “I have the same pain that life brings to everyone else … It is how you relate to your hardships and use that to evolve,” she said.
“I began to search for deeper meaning when life began to teach me lessons I didn’t know I needed,” the star responded to a fan’s question about not winning more awards for her album Lemonade and documentary Homecoming. “Success looks different to me now.”
Beyoncé continued: “I learned that all pain and loss is in fact a gift. Having miscarriages taught me that I had to mother myself before I could be a mother to someone else.”
When Beyoncé finally gave birth to her first child, she said it completely changed her outlook. “Then I had Blue, and the quest for my purpose became so much deeper. I died and was reborn in my relationship, and the quest for self became even stronger,” she recalled.
“It’s difficult for me to go backwards. Being ‘number one’ was no longer my priority,” she continued, adding that her “true win” has been in “creating art and a legacy that will live far beyond me.”
Beyoncé first opened up about her miscarriages in her 2013 HBO documentary, Life Is But a Dream. She remembered being blindsided in learning that her baby had no heartbeat when, just one week before, everything appeared okay. “It was the saddest thing I’ve ever been through,” she said at the time, adding that the experience was the inspiration behind her song, Heartbeat. “[Writing the song] was the best form of therapy for me.”
Beyoncé and JAY-Z went on to two more children after the birth of Blue Ivy: twins Rumi and Sir, 2½. And although the pop star’s priorities may have shifted since starting a family, that doesn’t mean she is working in less hard on her art. “With new projects, I get my team together for a prayer. I make sure we are all clear on the intention and what the deeper meaning is,” she said.
In January 2020, Bey is releasing her latest Ivy Park collection, a gender neutral collaboration with Adidas. She’s up for four Grammy awards, including pop vocal album for her recent companion album to the “Lion King” soundtrack, “The Gift,” and music film for her documentary “Homecoming.”
But she admits finding that work-life balance is stressful: “Making sure I am present for my kids—dropping Blue off at school, taking Rumi and Sir to their activities, making time for date nights with my husband, and being home in time to have dinner with my family—all while running a company can be challenging. Juggling all of those roles can be stressful, but I think that’s life for any working mom.”