RELATIONSHIPS
11 Things To Avoid Doing If Your Partner Has Cheated On You
By BETH MILLER
Don’t Blame Yourself
When you find out that your partner cheated on you, your first instinct might be to blame yourself, but that might be because the feeling of betrayal will hurt less.
Self-blame is common, but that leads to guilt, which can feel less frightening than anger, but you did nothing wrong. It simply gives you the illusion of control.
Don’t Make Excuses
The desire to make excuses when your partner cheats connects directly with the impulse to blame yourself. After all, making excuses is a way to minimize and rationalize the affair.
You probably won’t be the only one trying to make excuses because your partner will too, but it won’t be out of compassion for you or guilt.
Don’t Get Revenge
It’s a very human reaction to want to get revenge when your partner has wronged you because it can seem like deserved karma, but it can have long-term consequences.
A revenge affair will only compound the loss of trust in the relationship and make it less likely to mend the initial rift.
Don’t Make Irreversible Decisions
When you find out that your partner has cheated, it turns your world upside down, and it can lead you to make irrational and irreversible decisions.
Infidelity is one of the leading causes of divorce, but before considering that, it’s important to take a breath because relationships can heal, and you should consider that, too.
Don’t Give Away Power
This could be a very vulnerable period in your life, which will leave you weak and emotionally wrung out, so you’ll probably be getting advice from other people.
They will be trying to tell you what to do, but never let anyone bully or coerce you into making a decision regarding your relationship because you are the only one who can decide.