Very angry young woman pointing and shouting at the camera arguing and accusing
14 Signs You May Have A Controlling Personality
You Minimize Behavior
People minimize their behavior because facing their wrongdoing means admitting they are at fault, and by perceiving our failures, we become a threat to our own self-image. Denial and minimization can also be mechanisms to avoid isolation and maintain control.
You Always Blame Others
Asking for forgiveness means giving someone else control of the relationship and giving them the power to pass judgment over you. The more we try to protect our self-image, the less willing we will be to hold ourselves accountable for our mistakes.
You Can’t Let Things Go
Letting things go is related to control over specific outcomes, relationships, or issues concerning how we navigate life. Remember that letting go doesn't mean we are disregarding the issue at hand, but accepting it and allowing ourselves the space to move forward.
You Withdraw Affection
Withholding affection when things don’t go your way is not always done with bad intent, but it can end up as a punishment that devolves into a coercive way of getting what you want. It can be a symptom of issues regulating emotions, in which case seeing a counselor can help.
You’re Not Cooperative
Controlling personalities may have a rigid need to have things done their way, and don't allow other modes of thinking to interfere with their decisions. Those with a more flexible approach to teamwork perform better, which is an important lesson for those who refuse to change.