RELATIONSHIPS
How Can You Help Your Partner After A Miscarriage?
By ROBIN ZABIEGALSKI
Help With Physical Symptoms
For many, a miscarriage feels like a horrible period, with most people experiencing intense, painful cramps and heavy vaginal bleeding. Being present for your partner, checking on their symptoms, and getting pain medication or a heating pad is the best way to help while the miscarriage is actually happening.
Let Your Partner Rest
A miscarriage will leave your partner physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted, so encourage them to lie down while you take care of them and the house. Handle chores like dishes and laundry, and since your partner may have difficulty taking care of themselves, make sure they are eating well and are hydrated.
Understand How You Feel
Therapist Julia Bueno wrote that some partners have a hard time grieving a pregnancy loss because the baby wasn’t real to them yet, so their feelings about the miscarriage may be far less intense than their partner’s. To be supportive, you’ll have to accept that they are probably experiencing something very different than you.
Handle Mood Swings Gently
After a miscarriage, your partner may experience intense mood swings, which are a normal expression of the grief accompanying a pregnancy loss. Be gentle with your partner, even if they lash out at you; avoid conflict as much as you can, set boundaries, and try to help them through their feelings.
Make Space For Your Grief
When you’re caring for your partner after their miscarriage, it can be difficult to express your own grief, and while supporting your partner is important, it’s just as important to make space for your own feelings. Share your thoughts with your partner, family, or trusted friends, and find practices that help you process your emotions.