man comforting a woman
RELATIONSHIPS
How People-Pleasing May Be Ruining Your Love Life
By AMANDA CHATEL
While there's nothing wrong with wanting to please those around you, it can be problematic when you prioritize the needs of others before your own, especially in relationships.
People pleasers struggle to say no, which can lead to them prioritizing their partner's wants and needs over their own, even if it means going against their own values.
Only pleasing your partner is doing a disservice to you and your relationship. It’s not a genuine relationship if you’re faking sexual pleasure or constantly denying your wants.
Although you may think it’s “right” to never let your partner down, it isn’t how a healthy relationship operates. You must both communicate thoughts, opinions, fears, and dreams.
Low self-esteem and a fear of abandonment can lead to people-pleasing. When you’re ready to change your people-pleasing ways, start small and set some boundaries.
Try saying “no,” and give yourself a high-five for this accomplishment. If you want to say “yes,” give yourself a chance to think and understand why you’re agreeing.