woman annoyed at two men playing with her hair
How To Handle Hating Your Partner's Friends
1. Start By Looking Within
The first thing to do when we don't like someone is to look inwardly. Our own unconscious biases and beliefs can make it difficult to befriend people who see things differently.
Reflect on what it is you don't like about them. No matter what it is, once you have pinpointed the problem, you can start working through the following ways to deal with it.
2. Talk With Your Partner
Go into this discussion open-minded, willing to compromise, and ready to listen. Because you don't want to come in sounding accusatory, begin all of your sentences with "I."
Talking about your dislike of your partner’s friends allows you to better understand your partner. They may even realize problems in their friendship they hadn’t noticed before.
3. Talk To The Friends About It
If this is the route you want to take, we highly suggest having that talk with your partner first and then letting them know you would like to have a discussion with their friend.
During the conversation, use "I" statements, don't be accusatory, and be sure to give them a chance to share their side of the story. Watch their body language and trust your gut.
4. Understand Their Place In Your Partner’s Life
When you talk to your partner about their friend, try asking why they're friends and what attracted them to this person. Your partner's friendships are about them, not you.
5. Set Boundaries, Not Ultimatums
If you ask your partner to choose between their friends and you, you may not get the result you wanted, and if you do, they may resent you for the loss of one of their friends.
You can set boundaries on when it should just be you two or which friends you prefer spending time with. It will help your relationship if you can express your feelings healthily.