Boyfriend and girlfriend are arguing on the couch. Angry woman is yelling at her boyfriend.
Reasons Why Your Partner May Be Picking A Fight For Seemingly
No Reason
They Want Attention
Even people who aren’t attention mongers can feel needy and left out when they think their partner isn’t making them a priority. While picking a fight for attention isn’t the healthiest way to go about making a connection, it certainly makes you notice your partner and forces a conversation.
They’re Upset With You
Your partner might hold some resentment toward you, but they’re just not able to express it unless they pick a fight. Psychotherapist Karin Peeters says they can overreact to simple situations “because under the surface, an avalanche of feelings was triggered.”
They’re Sabotaging
“Many people are uncomfortable when things are going well,” says clinical psychologist Abby Medcalf, Ph.D., “It makes them feel out of control and anxious, as if they’re constantly ‘waiting for the other shoe to drop.’” Starting fights for them is like beating the assumed impending drama to the punch.
They Can't Communicate
If your partner comes from a family whose version of communicating was to start arguments for no reason, you can expect your partner to follow suit. Not every child can be fortunate enough to have a secure attachment style, so that’s something to consider when your partner starts a fight for no reason.
They’re Depressed
Someone with depression can act in ways that are detrimental to themselves and everyone around them, like starting fights for no reason. Life coach Kali Rogers explains, “If you are able to get on their level [...] together you two can work on building a different form of communication.”