Our Best Tips For Having A Vacation Fling Worth Writing Home About (Or Not)
If you're heading off for a vacation soon, the idea of a steamy vacation fling might be on your mind! You can meet new people to date in your local area all the time, but meeting someone you find interesting and attractive while spending time somewhere new is super exciting. Anyone who's seen episodes of "The White Lotus" on HBO probably remembers the whirlwind romance that took place between Kai and Paula. She caught his eye one evening, and they immediately started sneaking around together after every sunset. The drama that ensued between those star-crossed lovers doesn't have to become your reality, though.
There are plenty of things you can do to ensure a memorable, safe, and enchanting vacation fling experience that you'll definitely want to write home about. As soon as you cross paths with someone who mentally stimulates you while drawing you in with their alluring looks, you should feel free to jump at the opportunity to spark a flame. The flame might only burn for the duration of your vacation, but that's part of the gratification.
Make your interest clear with a good amount of flirtation
You don't have time to waste if you're trying to enjoy a vacation fling with someone who's caught your eye. Vacations are temporary — usually only lasting for about a week or two. Since you have such limited time to get things going, it's vital that you make your interest known with a good amount of flirtation. The person you like might not be aware that you're interested if you haven't made any attempts to talk to them.
If you're not comfortable being the initiator who strikes up a conversation, you'll have to work your magic with body language instead. Make loads of flirty eye contact, bat your eyelashes if needed, and smile at them whenever you can. If you're the bold type who isn't too shy to approach someone you like, get things going by introducing yourself. You'll feel more regretful if you let the entire vacation slip by without making contact than anything else. Although it might feel uncomfortable, it's better to shoot your shot and take the leap.
Make sure you aren't completely neglecting friends or family you're traveling with
You originally planned to go on vacation with friends, family members, or other loved ones. That being said, you should make sure you aren't completely neglecting the people you planned your trip with while pursuing your vacation fling. Your vacation fling is temporary, but you'll eventually return home with your loved ones. You don't want to leave a sour taste in their mouths about whatever transpired during the vacation. If you traveled with someone you were supposed to spend quality time with, you can't just bail on them whenever your fling comes around.
Instead, you have to figure out a way to balance your time so no one ends up getting upset. Ditching whoever you traveled with to prioritize your vacation fling is an incredibly risky move for the friendships, bonds, and connections you plan to have once you get back home. If the people you traveled with get too offended by your behaviors, it's possible your vacation will end without those friendships intact. All you have to do is ensure your priorities are in check without getting completely swept up at the moment.
Use protection
We can't stress this enough — use protection. The worst mistake ever would be hooking up with a random person on vacation and getting stuck with permanent consequences you'll have to deal with for the rest of your life. Two of the scariest consequences that come from having unprotected sex are unplanned pregnancies and the contraction of incurable STDs.
If you end up getting pregnant after hooking up with someone you met on vacation, there's a chance you'll be stuck dealing with the repercussions by yourself once you return home. You'll have to decide whether you want to terminate the pregnancy, raise the child alone, or put the child up for adoption. You'll also have to figure out whether you should involve the other person in any of your decision-making, if you're even able to get in contact with them.
If you contract an incurable STD, it's not the end of the world with all the modern-day treatments, science, and technology we have at our fingertips. Still, you may struggle with ongoing feelings of regret based on different stigmas that still rampantly exist. Using protection isn't the end all be all since it's possible for birth control to fail and condoms to break. Regardless, you should still attempt to protect yourself in every way you possibly can.
Make sure the people you're traveling with know where you're going
Your safety should be your top priority, whether you're on vacation abroad or visiting somewhere locally. As a way of keeping yourself safe while enjoying a vacation fling, make sure the people you're traveling with know exactly where you're going at all times. The threat of human trafficking is beyond real, which means people have to be extremely careful with the way they do things when spending time in unfamiliar places. You don't want to end up trapped in a situation with a vacation fling you thought was sweet and normal who ends up being a total lunatic.
Make sure the people you're traveling with have access to your GPS location at all times, so they can track your whereabouts. They'll be able to see where you are when you dip off to spend alone time with your special someone. This way, if anything bad happens to you, law enforcement officials will know exactly where to start looking and investigating. Before you fall into the temptation of running off in the middle of the night to link up with your vacation fling, nudge someone awake in your group to let them know where you're going first.
Consider any relationships you might have back home
You and the person you're hooking up with on vacation should have a conversation with each other about any relationships you might have back home. If the person you're hooking up with has a special someone back home waiting for them, figure out whether or not you'd be able to live with yourself after helping them cheat. If you're dating someone who didn't join you on your vacation, you should take their feelings into consideration. Going behind someone's back to pursue infidelity in any capacity can leave the duped person feeling jaded and betrayed. If this isn't something you would want done to you, you shouldn't do it to anyone else either.
Hooking up with people behind your partner's back is never something that should be downplayed or minimized. It's a very big deal, and every action has a consequence. If you know having a vacation fling is at the top of your bucket list, it might be in your best interest to cut things off with anyone you're dating locally before leaving on your trip. This way, you preserve your honor and self-respect while ensuring that you aren't breaking anyone's trust.
Consider trading trinkets to remember each other by
A sweet and casual gift exchange could be the best way for you and your vacation fling to keep each other in mind once your time together ends. You probably already know that things aren't going to extend into anything serious, but that doesn't mean you want to forget how enjoyable and pleasurable your time together has been. Ask your vacation fling if they're interested in exchanging trinkets with you, so you can both easily remember each other in the future.
You can give them a Polaroid photo of yourself, a piece of jewelry, a keychain, a handwritten note, a book you're reading, or something else that's thoughtful. This is a chance for both of you to get super creative while showcasing how much you appreciate the memories being created. Make sure whatever they give you is small enough to fit into your suitcase, so you can easily take it back home.
Take it as a chance to be the best version of yourself with someone new
There's no harm in using your time on vacation as a chance to be the best version of yourself with someone new. Your vacation fling doesn't need to know anything about how stressed out you get when you're at work on a deadline. They don't need to know about your 10-step skincare routine, least favorite household chores, or the upcoming appointment scheduled with your accountant to discuss taxes. Pesky and boring topics don't need to come up in conversation with whomever you're hooking up with on vacation.
Instead, the two of you can spend all your time talking about the highlights of your lives to keep things fresh and exciting. Your vacation fling gets access to the best version of you who isn't weighed down by anxiety, boredom, or exhaustion. Tell them about the time you hiked the Grand Canyon or the time you went swimming with sharks. Describe the time you went for a ride in a hot air balloon or when you rode on the back of a motorcycle. This is your golden opportunity to shine through as the best version of you.
Don't hookup anywhere that will get you arrested
Don't get so caught up in the heat of the moment that you start hooking up with your vacation fling somewhere totally public or dangerous. Hooking up with someone in public will likely land you in jail, regardless of where you're traveling. It's a lovey-dovey idea to get frisky on the beach near the rolling waves of the ocean. Unfortunately, most beaches are riddled with patrons. You won't easily find an empty beach with enough isolation to do your thing without someone passing by and noticing.
If you get caught hooking up in public, you can get arrested for public indecency. If you're traveling to a place that's a little more lax on rules, you may end up dealing with nothing more than a large fine to pay off. If you're traveling somewhere that takes the law very seriously, though, you could end up serving up to one year behind bars. It's always fun to live in the moment, but your legal record and freedom should be more important than anything else. If the person you're hooking up with is insistent about stripping you down somewhere where possible onlookers might see you (and report you), you'll have to shut that down immediately.
Decide whether you want to exchange numbers and social media info
An important discussion to have with your vacation thing is whether you should be exchanging phone numbers with each other. If you want to keep your connection as limited as possible, your best bet would be to refuse to exchange phone numbers altogether. This way, they won't be able to reach out to you after you've returned home and moved on with your life.
By that same token, it's easier to communicate with your vacation fling to arrange meetups if you have each other's phone numbers. It's challenging to arrange plans with someone when you're not able to consistently text or call them. Giving your phone number out to someone you aren't entirely sure about can be pretty risky, though. Even if you block their phone number at the end of your vacation, they can still try to reach out to you from other phone numbers.
The good news is that there are ways you can get around this unavoidable communication issue. Try giving them a temporary text-free phone number that will only be used for the duration of your trip. Try adding them on social media to communicate with them there. If you decide to end things permanently at the end of your vacation, you can simply block them from your social media accounts.
Come up with boundaries about future contact after your vacation ends
As far as boundaries go, you and your vacation fling need to have a serious discussion about what future contact will look like once your trip comes to an end. Your boundaries might revolve around cutting off all contact once the trip is over. The person you're hooking up with needs to respect your boundaries without pressuring you to change your mind. If they're desperately trying to convince you to continue talking beyond your trip, you might want to end things with them earlier than intended. This way, you'll avoid leading on a person who potentially wants something more serious with you.
Your boundaries could revolve around maintaining ongoing contact with the person you're hooking up with after the trip is over. You might prefer taking this approach so you don't end up feeling sexually used following a vacation fling where you shared yourself with someone physically. If that's the case, you can't control how they'll respond to your boundary. All you can do is open up to them with honesty and candor about what you expect in terms of communication once you're no longer in each other's presence.
Try not to get wrapped in a whirlwind romance that could leave you heartbroken
You know yourself better than anyone. If you're the type of person who falls in love fast and hard, you definitely need to brace yourself before getting swept away in a whirlwind romance that could leave you totally heartbroken. Think about all of your past relationships before jumping into your vacation fling.
Were you the one who dove in headfirst and ended up devastated by the end of it all? Were you always giving partners your undivided attention without reciprocation? Were you daydreaming about getting married and starting a family with an ex-partner early on while they weren't on the same page at all? If any of these scenarios apply to you, tread very lightly with vacation flings. Odds are, the person you're hooking up with on vacation is looking at your arrangement as something completely casual and temporary.
Not being emotionally prepared for the fling to starkly end as soon as your vacation ends indicates you probably aren't the type of person who would thrive with this type of arrangement. On the other hand, if you've always been the one in control and calling all the shots, this could be something that suits you well. Do you consider yourself to be somewhat of a heartbreaker who easily cuts people off after they start boring you? If so, cozying up with a vacation fling would work out well for someone like you.
Stand firm in your beliefs about long-distance relationships, regardless of your stance
Your stance on long-distance relationships exists however you see fit. If you've decided that long-distance relationships are simply not your thing, hold true to that mentality regardless of what someone might say in an attempt to change your mind. Your experience with long-distance relationships in the past might be the reason you're not interested in going down that path again. Your lack of experience with long-distance relationships is just as valid. If you've never done it up to this point in your life, there's probably a reason why. By that same token, your stance on long-distance relationships might actually be quite positive.
You could believe that distance shouldn't be a factor when it comes to true love. If you truly believe relationships can stand the test of distance no matter what, you're allowed to hold onto that belief as well. When your vacation fling is coming to an end, think about where your beliefs about long-distance relationships stand, and hold firm to those thoughts. If you follow your heart when it comes to long-distance relationships (instead of caving to someone else's opinions on them), it will save you from tons of potential heartache.
Decipher if things could expand romantically beyond the vacation
There's a lot to account for when thinking about the longevity of a romantic relationship. Just because someone has been fun to hang out and hook up with on vacation, it doesn't mean you'll be able to thrive in a long-term relationship beyond that. When you're on vacation, reality is put on hold. You don't have to worry about any of the things you're normally focused on, including work, school, and monotonous routines.
To bring your vacation fling out of fantasy land and into the depths of your reality is a big deal. You must decipher if things can actually extend romantically beyond your vacation in mutually beneficial way. It's possible for successful relationships to blossom from beautiful and blissful foundations, like meeting and hitting it off while on vacation. If you deeply connected while you were on vacation together, you'll always be able to look back on those memories as your relationship progresses.
If you both feel like you're vibing with each other, this is a crucial conversation to have with your vacation fling at some point. You can easily tell things are going well if you're feeling endlessly excited about spending time in each other's presence. It might feel so intense that the two of you can't picture life apart once your vacation comes to an end. If you're mutually having these concerns, you have to talk to each other about what your next steps might look like.
Don't take things too seriously, and live in the moment
Whether you're a hopeless romantic or not, you shouldn't take things too seriously with your vacations fling. Instead, opt for the mentality of living in the moment. When you think too much about the future, it adds layers of seriousness to situations that are supposed to be lighthearted and fun. Vacations are supposed to be spent relaxing, recuperating, and getting as revitalized as possible before returning to any mundane routines.
You wouldn't want to ruin the beauty of a vacation fling with all of its excitement and allure by bringing up topics of conversation that are way too heavy and serious. You might be picturing what things would look like if you married your vacation fling and started a family with them down the line. Even so, these aren't topics you need to bring up to them if you're living in the moment. Planning for the future is beyond unnecessary when you should be soaking up the sun, observing gorgeous views, and basking in the ambiance of pleasure.
It's possible your vacation fling could amount to something totally legitimate in the form of a long-lasting relationship. If that's what you're looking for, you can warmly keep that thought to yourself while experiencing the gratification and enjoyment that comes along with spending time with someone new in a beautifully foreign place.