8 Signs Your Friend Has A Romantic Interest In You
Friends are great people to have in our lives, especially when they become primary pillars of support. They're also the people we often go to for venting about the latest Tinder date fail or frustration with lack of viable dates over the past several months. We live in a society that has largely shifted towards using dating apps for making romantic connections, with good ol' fashioned "meet cutes" being something that only exists in Hollywood these days. Or, at least it feels that way at times. In all seriousness, dating over apps in a post-pandemic world isn't the most enjoyable of experiences most of the time. Having a solid group of friends to divulge your latest hysterical or bizarre date gone awry story to is a massive benefit when you're in the throes of modern dating.
Within your friend group, someone who genuinely knows you may have romantic feelings and your very own "meet cute" could be right in front of you. Friends who begin as platonic connections can develop romantic feelings for you, and vice versa. Of course, you may not reciprocate your friend's feelings. In which case, politely telling them that you value their friendship immensely and would love to keep your connection as it is now is always a choice that's available. However, if there's a chance you might reciprocate their feelings, there are some signs to be on the lookout for to determine if your friend may have heart eyes for you.
They begin to flirt with you and make it obvious over time
When a friend likes you, they may not show it at first. As they get to know you better and their interest grows, then they may begin to subtly flirt with you. Most obvious signs of flirting have to do with comments made about physical appearance, attractiveness, and your physique. Since human beings are primitive and have a biological need to mate, a lot of our flirting tactics go back to physical attractiveness and links to fertility because of our innate need to reproduce. However, if your friend does begin to make comments about how you look nice on a particular day or really liking your outfit another day, then they may be building up the courage to begin outwardly showing signs of a crush they have on you.
Another way of flirting that's common when a friend has a romantic interest in you is teasing. If a friend who has never before joked around with you begins teasing you in subtle ways, then that's a pretty good sign that they've got heart eyes for you. Importantly, if your friend's flirtatious comments or teasing become disrespectful, make you feel uncomfortable, or veers into negging, which is the act posing back-handed compliments or insults as jokes, then make certain you set boundaries, says Healthline.
Their body language signals that they're paying attention to you
Your friend may begin flirting with you through coquettish statements, but that's not the only way they may be showing their interest in you. Body language is extremely important when it comes to communicating respect, active listening, and interest without saying a single word. If your friend is romantically inclined towards you, then you may begin to pick up on attraction body language signals such as longer moments of eye contact, leaning towards you when the two of you are speaking, and nodding along with what you're saying in a way that's genuine and not just in a nonchalant 'uh-huh' type of nod. According to Science of People, there are more nuanced signs you should be on the lookout for as well. This includes your friend tilting their head when listening to you speak which shows that they're taking in and absorbing what you're telling them.
Lastly, if your friend smiles at you while you're speaking then they're likely interested in you, especially if their smile comes across as genuinely excited. If you feel a respectful warmth from your friend while you're speaking to them, particularly when you're sharing deeper anecdotes, then they clearly care about you.
They put their phone away when they're with you
A modern form of non-verbal or metacommunication in a relationship which shows a friend's interest is when they refrain from checking their phone or looking at any electronic devices around you. Since checking our phones has become such a frequent habit, it's unusual to go too long without giving your phone a glance. If your friend is putting their screens to the side and giving you their full, uninterrupted, and screen-free attention, then they are certainly showing that they're attuned to what you're saying.
In addition to putting their phone away, a sign that their interest is on you is if your friend shows cues of active listening, or merely that they're listening to you. Healthline reports that there is a difference between hearing and listening. Hearing is the function of noticing auditory sounds around you, while listening is absorbing the information that's being shared with you. The step beyond listening is actively listening, which is when a person reflects back to you what you've said. This is through non-verbal cues like facial expressions to let you know that they're paying attention, and asking thoughtful, non-generic questions in response.
They pay attention to details and ask attentive questions
When you're head-over-heels for someone, you likely want to know everything about them. Well, the reverse is true when someone, like a friend, has a romantic interest in you. As you spend time together, whether one-on-one or within a group, notice the depth of the questions your friend asks you and if they seem interested in getting to know you more. StyleCraze says a friend crushing on you will ask about your family, how your professional life is going, and other questions to learn more about you because they're truly curious.
As underscored as asking deep questions is a sign of romantic interest, so is the sign that your friend remembers details about you and things you've shared with them. In fact, you may realize that your friend remembers things you don't even recall! It could be that they reference how nice you looked in a particular blue shirt last week that you don't recall off the top of your head, but noticing and remembering small details is a very strong sign that your friend has a crush on you. Moving beyond storing information like your chosen ensemble for a previous coffee meetup or group event, your friend may also begin to say things that signal they remember details about more intimate information you've shared with them. Things like the name of your childhood pet that you were devastated to lose.
They open up about their own life
Flipping the dialogue around, if your friend is both romantically interested in you and feels as though they can genuinely trust you then they may begin to share intimate details about their life with you. This has two purposes. One is to share with you things about themselves that they want to impress you with. As they share tidbits about themselves, your friend may engage in grooming themselves, called preening, as an instinctive habit humans are known to do when trying to impress a potential partner. This can be ensuring their shirt is wrinkle-free and evenly tucked, or that their hair is properly pulled back without loose strands waving.
The second reason why your friend with heart eyes is opening up to you about their life, their family, friendships, work events, and even their childhood is because they genuinely trust you and they feel safe letting their guard down around you. Beyond whether or not your friendship turns romantic, take this as a very big compliment that someone feels so comfortable opening up to you as they see you to be an authentically trustworthy person. At the very least, you'll know that you and your friend have a close trust between you regardless of the endgame being romantic or platonic.
They want to know about your future plans
A friend with romantic interest in you is prone to want to know about the current happenings in your life, perhaps sussing out your dating prospects. If your friend is really crushing hard and interested in getting to know you on a more intimate level, though, they may begin asking you more questions about your future plans and aspirations. It's normal for friends to ask one another what they anticipate doing in the future, whether with an upcoming promotion opportunity or if they plan to travel over the summer. However, if a friend is romantically interested then they will likely start to ask you questions that extend beyond your travel plans. Instead, they'll want to know what you plan to do in life, what you hope to accomplish in your career, and may even want to know your core ambitions.
Asking about your future plans, including your potential desire to have children in the future or where you see yourself living in a few years, could be their way of assessing if your values and goals align with one another — whether they're conscious of the fact they're doing this or not. A modern way of trying to see if someone is good partner material, rather than the primitive mate version of our biological settings, is to ascertain if your lifestyles fit together (via Relationship Explained).
They invite you to meet up outside of a group
Just as your friend's attempts to flirt with you will likely progress over time, so will their courage to ask you to spend time together outside of a group setting. You can notice this courage being built if your friend gravitates towards you when you're with a group of people, meaning that they seek you out and spend most of their time with you rather than other people in the group, reports Insider. Once they do ask you to hang out one-on-one, there's a good chance they have romantic inclinations if they suggest activities that are specific to your interests. For example, paying attention to your hobbies and inviting you to an art class if you've mentioned you enjoy painting, or asking if you'd like to go to a comedy show because you're a huge fan. Particularly if you discover they dislike art but are taking classes with you, your answer is right there. If your friend mentions meeting their family, then that's confirmation of their crush.
When you're hanging out one-on-one, use this time to pay attention to the many cues collectively. Is your friend actively listening, asking thoughtful questions in response, and continuing to recall details of your past anecdotes? Is their body language showing interest by leaning forward, smiling, tilting their head, or twirling their hair around? Are they grooming and trying to impress you?
They look after your well-being and safety
Lastly, a friend with a deeper affection for you will be concerned about your safety. Your friend may check in on you after they know you've driven home late at night or if they know you have an intense work project coming up. They want for you to be physically, emotionally, and mentally cared for and safe, says Ideapod. It's a sign that you have a very close bond with one another and your friend is genuinely invested in your well-being, which is again a major sign of someone having a deep respect for you.
Emotional attentiveness can be intertwined with attentiveness to your physical needs, like noticing that you're shivering or have goosebumps and offering you their coat. Another means of being emotionally attentive is through being respectful of your boundaries, including your personal space and not making intimate advances that make you uncomfortable. They'll also be there when you need help, like jumping your car battery, a ride to the airport, or help putting furniture together. They'll be first in line to help you!