Signs You're Wasting Your Time On Your Current Crush

When you really like someone, it's often difficult to accept that they are not right for you. It can feel impossible to withdraw your time and energy from the person you might have imagined yourself being happy with.


If you tend to ignore red flags and settle for less than you deserve just because you have feelings for the person who's clearly a dead end, you're not alone. But you owe it to yourself to walk away from any relationship, or potential relationship, where your needs aren't being met. As The Dream Catch explains, there's no shame in having high standards, and expecting a certain level of respect from the person you're romantically involved with does not make you "picky."

The first and most important step of leaving behind someone who is not going to make you happy is recognizing when you're wasting your time. Fortunately, once you know what to look out for, the signs of a crush who's just not into you, or who won't ever commit to you, are easy to spot.


They never contact you first

You deserve to be in a relationship with someone who makes you a priority. When your crush always leaves it up to you to make plans, it's a sign that they're not as into you as they need to be (via A Conscious Rethink). And your crush not being into you is a major reason to walk away. You're wasting time that could be spent on someone who does want to be with you.


The same logic applies when your crush always takes a long time to return your calls or leaves you on read for days. Especially in a world where most people are glued to their phones and it takes a matter of seconds to respond to a text, this is a red flag that you're wasting your time.

They're dating someone else

This obviously doesn't apply to people in polyamorous or open relationships, but if you're looking for a two-person relationship only, your crush dating someone else is a sign for you to move on. As Bonobology explains, there are several reasons why a person you thought was interested in you might be dating someone else, and none of them are good. It could be that they are a serial dater, are trying to make you jealous, believe they're not good enough for you, or are even keeping you around as a backup option.


Even if you have strong feelings for someone who's just got into a new relationship with another person, the best thing to do is let them go. Time has a way of bringing the right people together, so you never know what might happen down the line. But for now, you deserve someone who can be totally committed to you.

It's impossible to know where you stand

When it comes to getting into a new relationship, it isn't enough to just be attracted to someone. For the relationship to be healthy and flourish, you also have to be ready to commit and stick it out through all the challenges. But when your crush is sending you mixed signals that leave you confused about where you stand, it indicates that they aren't ready to commit to you (via The Power Moves).


If they want to be with you one day and aren't sure the next, it's a sign that any relationship with them would be unstable and, likely, full of disappointment. Instead, direct your attention to someone who knows with absolute certainty that they want to be with you.

They cancel on you at the last second

Someone who frequently cancels on you at the last second is often someone who's not interested in you, and thus, someone you shouldn't waste your time on. Licensed clinical psychologist Dr. Isabelle Morley tells Bustle, "A person who [cancels] repeatedly is subtly indicating that the date wasn't important to them."


Of course, there are exceptions, but most people don't continuously cancel on people they genuinely care about. If they do, they reschedule. Don't take it personally the first time, or even the first couple of times. But if your crush develops a pattern of behavior where they're canceling again and again, know that you deserve better.

They take you for granted

If someone takes you for granted when the relationship hasn't even started yet, rest assured that things will only get worse as time goes on. The early days, when you still "have a crush" on each other are typically full of fun and butterflies and both parties putting in a lot of effort. If they act like they don't care about you during this exciting time, they probably don't (which is definitely their loss!).


The dating experts at Love Connection explain that when your crush leaves you waiting around while they're late, doesn't ask questions or show interest in your life, and often ignores you, they are wasting your time. These behaviors show that a relationship with you is not important to this person.

They tell you they're not looking for anything

Sometimes, our feelings for someone are so strong that we overlook clear red flags, like them saying that they're not interested in a relationship. According to women's blog Forgetting Fairytales, this is a clear sign that you'll be wasting your time if you choose to stick around.


It's easy to hope that you can change someone's mind or convince them to date you, but remember that you can never control someone else's actions. And you shouldn't have to plead with someone to date you; if they're right for you, they'll realize it on their own.

In the case of situantionships, or situations where you are emotionally invested already but there is no commitment, Brides suggests chatting to a mental health professional about whether you should stay in contact with your crush. But in general, remember that you are loveable and worthy, and anyone worth investing your time into will see that.