What To Consider Before You Start A Long-Term Relationship Over The Internet
Don't let "Catfish" scare you; meeting people online can actually work out! Come on, it's 2023! Who isn't using dating apps or websites? As of 2023, there are currently 25.7 million people using at least one dating app, according to Statista. Online dating is pretty much the norm these days, and it can be a great experience if you find the right person. Sometimes, you may even find each other through other places like Instagram or Twitter, where you weren't searching for anyone at all. It's exciting, but what do you do when they live far away?
Long-distance relationships are difficult as is; committing to a serious relationship born from a dating app is a whole other ball game. You have to ask yourself if it's even sustainable. When you think about it, you haven't really had time to properly get to know them without a screen between the two of you. Of course, not every relationship is the same, so there's a chance the two of you can pull it off. With that being said, it's important to consider all angles of the situation before committing to a long-term relationship online.
What do you require in a relationship?
This is the most important question you need to ask before you start a long-term relationship with someone online. Now is the time to check in with yourself and figure out what you need emotionally and physically, and the best way to do that is by learning what your love language is. Is yours words of affirmation? Acts of service? Quality time? After you've discovered your language of love, which can change over time, you can decipher what it is you need from your partner in a relationship.
For example, someone whose love language is words of affirmation or gifts may have an easier time dealing with a long-distance relationship than someone who needs physical touch or quality time. Be honest with yourself, and make sure you're well aware of your needs before "the talk." Doing so will ensure you have made the best decision for you and your heart. If you know what you want and you're okay with the distance, there's something else you really need to consider.
How far and how often will you travel?
Now, you need to decide how far you're willing to travel and how often you can. If you can get on without seeing them for a long time, that's great, as long as you mean it. If it's too expensive to fly to them, or vice versa, it's going to have a significant impact on the relationship over time. Seeing your partner two to three times a week is the goal, so when you can't see them for months at a time, you're really depriving yourself, which isn't healthy for either of you.
If you are able to travel the distance, your next task is to figure out how often is actually feasible. With work and school, you might not have as much time to see them as much as you want to. (Unfortunately, we can't all just hop on a private plane like Kim K.) Before you say yes to any commitment, it's crucial the two of you have a realistic talk about the logistics of visiting one another.
Do you trust them?
What's a relationship without trust? Before you start a long-term relationship over the internet, you need to make sure you can believe this person, 110%. While you can fix a relationship with damaged trust, it's best to not reach that point to begin with. Otherwise, your relationship is doomed from the start. Without trust, you may start to feel depressed, anxious, or insecure, which can be a detriment to your mental health and self-worth as well. Remember, you don't live near one another; you can't just go check up on them whenever you're feeling suspicious. (If you're doing that, you may want to rethink that relationship.)
Perhaps you've had issues with this person in the past, or maybe your ex was a cheater. Either way, if there's any doubt in your mind that they may be unfaithful to you later on, it's best to get out while you can. It's going to save you a lot of heartbreak — and a ton of money in airfare.