Four Things Every Couple Should Discuss Before Getting Married
Whether you're knee-deep in the wedding planning process or just starting to get your feet wet, this is a really special time for you and your fiancé. Planning your wedding is the start of your new life together. The planning process has brought my fiancé and I closer together, and believe it or not, we are learning even more about each other. More importantly, the planning process is teaching us how to effectively communicate with one another and the best way to handle our (sometimes drastic) differences.
When it comes to planning your wedding, you have to remember the (very important!) bigger picture. It's easy to get lost in the sartorial and decorative aspects of wedding planning, but ultimately, you are making a serious life commitment to each other. Communication is vital to any marriage and it's important to always share your feelings, even if it seems difficult to do so. You are not going to agree on every topic, and that's okay. It's good to have differences; that's what makes you balanced and unique as a couple. Preparing for marriage starts before you walk down the aisle, and here are some important conversations you should begin having with your partner.
Starting a family
After marriage do you and your partner want to take a couple years and enjoy your time as husband and wife, or do you want to have children right away? How many children do you plan on having? There's a lot to think about when it comes to deciding if and when you and your partner want to have a family. If you haven't had these conversations already, there's no time like the present!
For engaged couples, discussing your financial situation can be a daunting conversation. To accurately depict your financial status, it's a good idea to draw up a budget. Deciding how much you both want to spend on food, housing, utilities, clothing, and other things is really important. If either of you has outstanding debt, how do you plan on paying it off? For better or worse, money weighs heavily on many of the decisions you and your partner will make in your future together, so having a realistic budget is essential.
Location, location, location
Deciding where you are going to live together is important. Do you want to stay in your hometown? Do you want to live close to work? Do you want to move to a better school district for your children? Do you want to live in an apartment or do you want to buy a house? Understanding what you are both looking and finding common ground is key. It may take some time to come to a final agreement, and that's normal. It's a big decision to make and it requires ample time, research, and thought.
Division of household chores
Remember the chore log you used to have with your siblings to divide and conquer the household chores? Who knew our parents were really preparing us for marriage! Even with your partner, it's important to divide chores as evenly as possible, because an unbalanced workload can cause friction later on. Make doing the chores fun and treat yourselves to a reward in the end.