Negative Ways Texting Can Impact Your Relationship
It's no secret texting has become the standard way we communicate with people, particularly among those born after 1982. According to SimpleTexting, 75% of millennials hate phone calls because they take up too much of their time, and 81% of the generation shake and shiver even at the thought of picking up the phone and dialing. Texting is an easy and quick way to get a hold of someone and communicate plans. Really, why would you have an entire phone conversation when you can just text your friend and ask what time brunch starts?
But what about when texting stops being helpful and starts being harmful? Believe it or not, it can actually have a negative impact on your relationship in more ways than one. It might seem confusing, but once you learn more about the ways texting affects your connection with your partner, we hope you'll have a better understanding. Moreso, we hope it will encourage you to give your fingers a break.
Texting too much comes off as clingy
When you and your partner aren't together, it's normal to check in every now and then to see how they're doing, but there is a fine line between seeing what they're up to and being clingy. We're talking constant texts throughout the day — asking what they're doing, if they miss you, and when you'll see them next. Sounds overwhelming, right? That's because it is. When you spend the majority of your day sending text messages like this, you're quickly charting into stage-five clinger territory, and that's the last place you want to be.
Neediness in a romantic relationship is a heavily toxic trait, so when your partner sees you as too needy or clingy, it can damage the connection you two share, says One Love. With that in mind, as much as you want to talk to your partner, maybe ease up a bit on the texting. If you notice your ten texts are only met with one response, that's a good indication it's time to pump the breaks.
Hyperactive sexting can cause insecurity
Sexting is fun, especially when you and your partner are apart for a long time. You can send them a spicy pic or give them all the dirty deets about what you two are going to do when they get back. Sexting can bring the two of you closer together (per Psychology Today), but too much can actually do significant damage to your love life. Studies found that frequent sexters are actually less secure in their relationship and feel a lesser sense of commitment to their partner, Independent explains.
In addition, hypersexters — those sending multiple sexts a day — found they weren't as fulfilled in their relationship as a whole. By spending too much time sending and receiving X-rated messages, they started to lose focus on what it means to be in love with someone. So if you notice this happening in your own love life, here's your cue to put the phone away and have some real fun in the bedroom ... or living room ... or kitchen.
Arguing via text could make things worse
Many people are afraid of in-person confrontation, which is why they use texting as a form of conflict resolution, NBC News states. However, because you can't hear the other person's tone or read their body language, it's difficult to understand exactly how they're feeling. Arguing over text is never a good idea, whether it's with your partner or someone else. By not speaking in person, your partner might take something you say out of context, thinking you're being passive-aggressive or sarcastic, which can escalate the situation.
To prevent the argument from getting out of control, take the time to sit down and talk to one another face-to-face. We know it's easier said than done, but getting past your fear of in-person confrontation will pay off in the long run. Give yourself time to think about what you want to say and how you should say it, but more importantly, remember to keep your ears and mind open to what your partner has to say.
Your partner might get annoyed
Have you ever received a text where you felt like you were reading a book? You know, those super long messages that take a couple of scrolls to read? Maybe you've been guilty of sending one a time or two, but those kinds of texts can negatively impact your relationship, and the reason is quite simple — they're annoying. This biggest problem is most people don't even realize they're doing it, so they have no reason to think those long messages bother anyone, says Thought Catalog.
For your and your partner's sake, if you want to write a novel, save it for the page. Instead of sending them a three-paragraph message, save it for when you're together. If something totally crazy happens and you can't wait until you see each other next, here's your time to face your fear of a phone call! We know it's tough, but actually speaking to each other will do wonders for your relationship.
It can replace spending time together
This one has less to do with you texting your partner than it does with being on your phone in general. We all know by now how negatively our phones can impact not just our romantic relationships but connections with people in general. If you two are spending time together, but you're really both scrolling on your phones, you aren't connecting. Too much time on your phone can cause the other person to feel ignored and insignificant, especially if their love language is quality time.
This is why screen-free time together is important in a relationship. It might sound crazy, but you can take a break from your phone for an hour or two (we promise). Use that time to really bond with your person, even if that means cuddling on the couch and watching a movie. With your phone out of your hand, you'll realize how much more present and connected you feel in your relationship.