The Biggest Red Flags In Michelle And Barack Obama's Relationship, According To Our Matchmaker

Celebrity couples often contend with speculation around their relationships, and it doesn't get much more high-profile than former President Barack Obama and former First Lady Michelle Obama. Since their first step onto the national stage, the Obamas have been faced with rumors and nitpicking over topics from Michelle Obama's most outdated outfits to the state of their marriage. Such scrutiny has persisted into their lives post-White House, with rumors swirling about resentment on Michelle's end and infidelity on Barack's, even claiming that he's had affairs with the likes of Jennifer Aniston. But is this presidential couple really in trouble?

For expert insight, Glam spoke exclusively to Susan Trombetti, matchmaker and CEO of Exclusive Matchmaking. Despite all the gossip, she thinks that the Obamas are in a pretty good place. "First off, I love them as a couple," Trombetti tells Glam. "I give no credence to the infidelity rumors, and ... putting her career on hold gave [Michelle] a different type of career and platform during her time in The White House."

However, even the most seemingly secure couples have to weather storms in their relationship and should take care not to capsize when issues inevitably come a-calling. "I do see some red flags there," Trombetti says, warning that a lack of privacy and the lingering burden of public office could cause lasting damage if the Obamas don't take steps to nurture their bond.

Marriage is hard work, and all spouses face the occasional speed bump. However, talking it out with friends or therapists is one thing, and opining about your lengthy rough patch in front of an audience is another. For better or worse, Michelle Obama has no compunctions about airing the dirty laundry between her and Barack Obama. "There were 10 years where I couldn't stand my husband," Michelle told Revolt in 2022. "And guess when it happened? When those kids were little. ... That's when all the measuring starts," she added, referring to diaper-change counts and so on. She explained that all the stress and irritation of raising small children gets funneled toward your spouse, saying, "You can't blame [the kids]. ... So you turn that ire on each other."

It's definitely difficult knowing how to prioritize your relationship after having kids, but while Michelle's honesty is relatable and, in many ways, refreshing, it may have been a little too intimate. Not only does the confession cast a pall over a concerningly long period of their marriage, but it also invites scrutiny and probably puts Barack in an uncomfortable position. "That was shocking to me that she felt that way, and that she told that to the general public," matchmaker Susan Trombetti exclusively tells Glam.

It doesn't help that even in the post-White House years, when the kids were older, Barack and Michelle have seemingly grappled with distance. "They weren't seen together in public as a couple for a long time ... leaving many to believe they were living separate lives," says Trombetti. "It seems there were some problems." However, the Obamas might already be tackling this red flag, as Michelle has emphasized their dedication to the life they've built together. "10 years? We've been married 30. I would take 10 bad years over 30," she told Revolt. "The feelings are gonna change over time. ... People wanna give up on it. But now you're in the work."

It's safe to say that serving as the president is a stressful and time-consuming job, so it's no big shock that Barack Obama struggled to hold space for his wife while leading the nation. Unfortunately, understanding Barack's busy schedule doesn't mitigate the damage it may have done to his marriage. "Time spent in The White House may or may not have taken its toll on this lovely couple," observes Susan Trombetti. "It's hard being the president for eight years and not being able to focus on your relationship. ... I also wonder if there is anger there on her part. Maybe she is holding a grudge?"

It's hard to say how much bitterness Michelle Obama may still harbor about those years, but Barack acknowledges what a struggle it was. "I was in a deep deficit with my wife," he said during a speaking event at Hamilton College in April 2025, referring to life after those eight long years on Pennsylvania Avenue (via Medium). He's apparently been trying to make it up to her ever since, adding, "... I have been trying to dig myself out of that hole by doing occasionally fun things."

Fortunately, their shared history creates a strong foundation for the Obamas to shore up any weak points in their relationship. "This couple has already made it long-term. They have been married for over 30 years," says Trombetti. Now, she suggests that they start by reconnecting in simple ways. "I think they need to spend time together as a couple and get back to the basics. ... Not taking each other for granted, making time for one another." The Obamas are already showing some positive signs in this direction. As Barack told CBS Mornings in May 2023, "It sure helps to be out of The White House. And to have a little more time with [Michelle]."

If only the current president could say the same about his relationship. Unfortunately, even without the uphill challenges posed by life in The White House, there are a lot of red flags in Melania and Donald Trump's marriage.