Kristi Noem's Outdated & Tacky Fashion Choices Couldn't Be Saved By Flashing Her Legs

Sometimes the smallest detail can save an outfit that isn't quite right. We've all thought "this dress is kind of outdated, but my arms look fabulous in it" about an outfit before. But some outdated and tacky outfits are beyond saving, even if you have a killer body part you want to show off. And that's where controversial Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem comes into the picture. The former governor loves to flaunt her figure in dresses with thigh-high slits and jean shorts. We wonder if she might have even thought that some of her looks weren't quite right, but they were an opportunity to show off her legs, so she'd go for it. Who knows?

What we do know is that these outfits were unsalvageable, even with her great gams on display. Are they as offensive as Kristi Noem's biggest makeup mistakes? How about her biggest hair blunders? You be the judge.

In 2017, then-Representative Kristi Noem met with a group on Capitol Hill wearing an orange dress accessorized with a long beaded necklace, and what looks like leopard-print cowboy boots. We'll repeat that last bit again for maximum cringe factor: leopard-print cowboy boots. No amount of toned leg can bring that trend to the mainstream. The proportions were wrong as well; when Noem stood up, the dress fell to below the knee and the boots hit mid-calf, making her legs look squat.

Kristi Noem's cowboy hat obsession was on full display in December 2023, when she posed at the Las Vegas National Finals Rodeo with a group of 10-gallon-wearing women. And Noem's legs certainly couldn't save the mishmashed outfit that she wore to the event. The color-block cardigan with tasseled ends, the frilly denim skirt, the plain gray shirt, and the white cowboy boots were a lot ... of cowboy chaos.

Kristi Noem's tacky kids birthday party attire in July 2025 had us shaking our heads. Nothing says "child's fourth birthday party" like her grandmother showing a whole lotta leg (and also, Kristi Noem keeps making the same hair mistake with her messy updos). Even if they are doing a little spa session, isn't it a bit tacky for the birthday girl's grandma to show this much leg, even if they are fit and toned?

Yes, even politicians should be allowed to have their casual looks, especially on the Fourth of July. But there's a fine line between appropriate and inappropriate casual attire when you're meeting your constituents. In a public setting, a public political figure should keep that in mind. And we think Kristi Noem toed over the line in the summer of '22 when she wore short frayed jorts that put her toned gams on display.

Kristi Noem seemed to want to revisit her pageant days at an event at Mar-a-Lago in November 2025. The former 1990 South Dakota Snow Queen wore a sparkly royal-blue dress with a — you guessed it — thigh-high slit to show off some leg. At the event she was honoring a 7-year-old girl; naturally, most of us in her position would think we should definitely look for something that hits at the upper thigh for such an event. Or not.

In December 2024, just before they descended upon Washington, newly named FBI Director Kash Patel and Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem posed for a photo. Some may say that a tight-fitting dress isn't the most office-appropriate attire, but the women of the MAGA-sphere, including the likes of Lauren Boebert, have repeatedly questioned that tenet. Some may point out that Noem's combination of colors, the indigo dress with the pale-yellow heels, also missed the mark, despite her toned calves being on display.

In February 2024, Kristi Noem, then governor of South Dakota, posted a photo of her and fellow politician Larry Rhoden at work. Unless it was dress-like-a-cowboy day (and Rhoden missed the memo), we don't find this a terribly appropriate office look. Once again, even ICE Barbie's sculpted legs couldn't save this 'fit from missing the mark. To look less costume-y and more work-appropriate, we'd suggest one Western item at a time, paired with less outdated pieces.