Quote Of The Day By Kate Middleton: 'Your Fundamental Identity Changes Overnight. You Go From Thinking Of Yourself As...'

Born in Berkshire, England, in 1982, Kate Middleton probably never dreamed of the places life would take her. After meeting Prince William at St. Andrews University in 2001, Kate was slowly but surely welcomed into the royal family, and the pair were married at Westminster Abbey in 2011, launching them toward their future as the Prince and Princess of Wales. 

Since becoming a senior working royal, Kate has taken over several royal patronages with a focus on one of her biggest passions: the wellbeing of children. Among them is the Anna Freud National Centre for Children and Families, and the Evelina London Children's Hospital. But along with her royal duties, Kate has also welcomed three children with William over the years: Prince George, born in 2013, Princess Charlotte, born in 2015, and Prince Louis, born in 2018. 

Since becoming a mother of three, Kate has balanced working as a senior royal with family life. She has publicly admitted that she does have more support than the average mom, but her position also comes with unique parenting challenges that other moms might not have to deal with to the same extent, such as facing public scrutiny and protecting her children's privacy. In any case, motherhood has been a huge part of her life for more than a decade, so we definitely trust her take, outlined in our quote of the day, on how emotionally overwhelming the experience can be. 

"Nothing can really prepare you for the sheer overwhelming experience of what it means to become a mother. It is full of complex emotions of joy, exhaustion, love, and worry, all mixed together. Your fundamental identity changes overnight. You go from thinking of yourself as primarily an individual, to suddenly being a mother, first and foremost."

In 2017, Kate Middleton, then the Duchess of Cambridge, spoke at the launch of the Best Beginnings film series "Out of the Blue," which focuses on parental mental health (via Elliot Royal). She shared this bit of wisdom with the audience, allowing a moment of vulnerability in her speech that many in the room could relate to. 

Since the film series tackled the emotional toll of motherhood, and the importance of seeking help and investing in self-care when parenting gets tricky, there was no better time for the princess to open up about how her experience of motherhood has been all-encompassing and, at times, overwhelming.

Kate Middleton's revelation back in 2017 was important then and remains important now, particularly as the reality of motherhood can sometimes be misrepresented on social media. The princess acknowledged that the experience does come with many positive emotions, including love and joy, but it also pushes moms to negative emotional places, and the experience of feeling all of this at the same time can be overwhelming. By referencing the identity shift that many mothers go through, Kate also shed light on how this emotional roller coaster can feel all-encompassing, and make everything else in life feel less important by comparison.

Over the years, the royal has offered glimpses of how tricky parenting can be, even for someone in a privileged position. Her children have occasionally had tantrums or acted out in public while she's had to remain composed for the camera. In a 2020 Instagram Q&A, Kate even jokingly admitted that she'd "like to ask the experts" about how to handle emotional meltdowns from children at home. Her experience shows that the essence of motherhood, and its struggles, are always there no matter what background you come from.

Hopefully, Kate's quote can bring comfort to parents who are struggling with that overwhelming emotional roller coaster and identity shift. Having an open conversation about it reminds moms to be gentle with themselves and not dismiss their own feelings, because they're absolutely valid. Kate rightly pointed out that many moms see themselves as mothers before anything else once that identity shift takes place, but that doesn't mean you have to completely neglect your own needs. Resources like the  "Out of the Blue" film series exist to help parents get through these emotional and mental health challenges.

• "[Being a parent] is lonely at times and you do feel quite isolated. But actually so many other mothers are going through what you are going through, but it's being brave enough to actually reach out."
• "My parents taught me about the importance of qualities like kindness, respect, and honesty, and I realize how central values like these have been to me throughout my life. That is why William and I want to teach our little children, George and Charlotte just how important these things are as they grow up. In my view it is just as important as excelling at maths or sport."
• "Nothing brings me more happiness than trying to help the most vulnerable people in society. It is a goal and an essential part of my life."
• "People often ask me why I am so interested in the mental health of children and young people. The answer is quite simple — it is because I think that every child should have the best possible start in life."
• "Personally, becoming a mother has been such a rewarding and wonderful experience. However, at times it has also been a huge challenge. Even for me, who has support at home that most mothers do not."
• "Only by working together can we bring about lasting change for generations to come."
• "It is right to talk about motherhood as a wonderful thing, but we also need to talk about its stresses and strains. It's okay not to find it easy, and asking for help should not be seen as a sign of weakness."
• "I really hope I can make a difference, even in the smallest way."