Social Media Habits That Will Help Your Relationship Thrive
Social media has become such an inherent part of our life that it almost feels like an extra limb. Although statistics vary, depending on the demographic, the general consensus is that, globally, people spend at least two hours and 27 minutes a day on social media (via World Economic Forum). That's a lot of time, even if it's not consecutive hours.
Of course, there are bad aspects of social media. For example, some celebrities are often forced to take down clearly altered photos of themselves after they have tried to prescribe to society's idea of what's "perfect" (via Buzzfeed). And while these are extreme cases of "bad" that only come to light because these people are famous, it doesn't mean the average person isn't immune to such behavior.
But just as it has its bad aspects, social media can also be used for good. When it comes to our relationships especially, if done right, social media can actually help our partnerships thrive.
Be on the same page as your partner
Social media is a look into the world of others and, if you're one of those people who wants to share everything you and your partner do together, then you have to be mindful as to how that will affect your relationship as well as how it might affect the relationships of your followers (via Insider). No one has a perfect relationship, so you want to be mindful of depicting that when you post something.
"You've got to understand what to put where. Don't set your partner up to be embarrassed," psychotherapist and digital intimacy and relationships expert Robert Weiss tells Time. "Take a social media inventory with your partner and say to them, 'What's important to you? Is it important to you that a picture of us goes up?'"
In other words, discuss what's meaningful to you and to your partner. What should be shared and what can be something special just between you two? What are you trying to tell your followers? Are you being honest? Or are you painting a reality that doesn't exist?
Get free relationship help
At this point, everyone is on social media. Everyone. As Facebook continues to lose followers, Instagram continues to grow. There are well over two billion Instagram users worldwide with that number projected to reach 2.5 billion in 2023 (via Business of Apps). And some of those people on Instagram are professional therapists who share nuggets of advice — for free — on their accounts.
"There are plenty of accounts that offer up good information to help develop and maintain a healthy connection," sex and behavioral therapist Chamin Ajjan tells Mind Body Green. "There is a lot of good information on social media from relationship bloggers, psychotherapists, and many others that highlight how to improve your relationship."
Free relationship therapy? Take advantage of that! But when it comes to therapists, be wary of who you're following and make sure they have the necessary credentials (via Refinery29). Just because someone says they're an expert, doesn't mean that they actually are.
Communicate playfully throughout the day
Before social media, we primarily connected with our partners throughout the day via texting on cell phones. Before that, people actually had to call each on the phone. Yes, like pick up a phone that was usually — are you ready for this? — attached to a wall. Since then so much has changed and staying connected is easier than ever. Which is such a relief, because phones connected to walls? Crazy!
Sure, texting cutesy things to your partner is fun, but social media allows you to share funny memes throughout the day and not really have to say anything else. It's a low-pressure way to stay connected. "Having that playfulness and flirtation can really help relationships last," psychotherapist Annie Wright tells Mic.
Let's be honest: silly memes, as rounded up by Stacker, always trump a "How was your day?" text.
Connect with their friends
Whether you've just started dating someone or it's been going on for a while, social media gives you a chance to connect with your partner's friends online that you haven't had the chance to meet in person just yet.
"Pretend like you are at a dinner party and meeting these social media friends for the first time, getting to know who they are and their place in your partner's world," marriage and family therapist Laura Heck, LMFT tells MarthaStewart.com.
It shows you're really making an attempt to be part of their life and want to know just as much about your partner's present life as well as their past. Exchanging fun banter with their friends in the comment section can help do just that. Just keep it cool and don't get too chummy — no sense in creating jealousy or drama where it's not necessary. In the past few years, Instagram has become quite the place to meet people for dates (via The New York Times). So banter, but don't flirt.
Know when to put the phone down
As much as social media can be fun for a couple and can even help their relationship grow in surprising ways, partnerships still need human-to-human contact. And too much "doomscrolling" can actually lead to things that are bad for your relationship (via BBC). Also, doomscrolling, in general, isn't healthy.
"Social media is not all bad," sex and behavioral therapist Chamin Ajjan tells Mind Body Green. "But if you find yourself comparing your relationship to what you are seeing online, it may be helpful to unfollow accounts that make you feel bad and focus more on accounts that make you feel empowered in your relationship."
Every relationship is unique and should be treated as such. Comparing what other people have is unhealthy. Remember it's social media, so take all you see with a grain of salt. If you're happy in your relationship and everything is going well for you and your partner, that's all that matters at the end of the day.