Should You Announce Your Breakup On Social Media?
In the last few years, we've seen a pattern when it comes to celebrities breaking up: they announce the split online. Whereas back in the day such a topic was eschewed to be just gossip or the celebrity couple had their pubic relations team release a statement — followed by the ever-popular "they ask for privacy at this time" — that's no longer the case. With so many people on social media, when celebrities decide to call it quits, some take to social media to get the word out instead.
But why? Why do couples feel the need to do this? "One of the cultural values we attach to romance in our society is that we get to control the presentation of our love story to others," Michelle Janning, a professor of sociology at Whitman College and the author of "Love Letters: Saving Romance in the Digital Age," tells Elle. "For the celebrity stories, the same thing is happening. It's making sure people see these individuals as adhering to cultural values and norms about romance, about how you treat a partner, about how to be mature and what to disclose in terms of secrets."
Of course, celebrities also want to get ahead of any rumors from the fallout, but what about the rest of us? Is a breakup post on social media ever a good idea for those of us without yachts and bank accounts busting at the seams?
Pros to announcing your breakup
If you and your partner were all over each other's social media accounts with relentless posts of you two together in that blissful state of love, it can lead to curiosity when those posts suddenly stop. You're likely to find in the days and weeks that follow that questions will start popping up about what's going on with you and your now-ex. If you made your relationship Instagram official, then maybe using the same platform to let people know that it's over feels right.
As anyone who's gone through a breakup will tell you, one of the most difficult things about it is going over it again and again with every person you meet. It's not just exhausting but it also takes an emotional toll. You can nip all those endless inquiries about your relationship in the bud by posting the announcement on social media. How detailed you want to get is up to you, but keep in mind there will still be thoughts because everyone has thoughts about everything. "No matter how well you try to craft your caption, your post will invite a multitude of opinions," breakup coach and dating strategist Natalia Juarez tells Elite Daily.
Cons to announcing your breakup
As much as you'll be able to get in front of questions about your breakup with an announcement, posting such a thing isn't without its consequences. In some cases, your post might seem self-indulgent or like you're looking for attention or sympathy. "A breakup is something that has happened between you and your partner, and it's private," Janice Formichella, founder of the Broken Heart Repair Kit, tells HelloGiggles. "The results [of posting about a breakup] can be unpredictable... If you need validation about what has just happened, turn to a friend for a real-life conversation."
Another scenario is you could craft something in the heat of the moment that's snarky and immature, leading you to have to post something else to smooth over what you originally said, as Jonathan Van Ness did in 2018 when they split with Wilco Froneman: "I should've sat with myself a bit longer before I posted my most recent post. Wilco is a good person & sometimes things don't work out," Van Ness wrote in an Instagram story (via Refinery29). "Please don't attack him on his page... Your girl Jonathan is just fine." You could also forget to tell your inner circle first, making those who are closest to you feel alienated in some way.
Breakups are hard and depending on the reason for the breakup, taking the high road is even harder. While there are pros to announcing your breakup on social media, if you don't do it correctly, it could backfire. Some people love the drama that comes with backfire. But if you're not one of those people, then maybe skip the announcement and let people naturally find out in time.