Here's What To Know About Autosexuality

Sexuality is fluid and runs up and down a very long spectrum. Some people are attracted to specific genders, others are attracted to those who have intellect, and some are attracted to no one, just to reference a few sexualities on the spectrum. But one that we don't hear about enough is autosexuality. According to WebMD, autosexuality is a sexuality in which people are more attracted to themselves than to other people. Autosexuals likely prefer masturbation to sex with others because their primary source of sexual arousal comes from themselves. However, this doesn't mean that someone who's autosexual can't have relationships; it just means their partner probably won't turn them on as much as they turn on themselves.

It's like self-love but several levels higher. But because autosexuality isn't discussed as often as it should, there are more than a few misconceptions about it, the biggest one being that autosexuals are narcissists. "Autosexuals are more comfortable sexually when in their own company, while narcissists crave attention," psychologist Dr. Jennifer McGowan tells the BBC. "Autosexuality is also not likely to be associated with a lack of empathy or desire to give others pleasure — sexually or otherwise — but rather a preference towards a private and personal sexual experience."

Sure, autosexuals may be more attracted to themselves than their partners, but that's not narcissism, which is a personality trait. Rather, autosexuality is a sexual orientation. Still, there's so much more to being autosexual.

What is autosexuality?

While autosexuality is, at its core, being attracted to oneself, there are layers to it, as is the case with all sexual orientations because no orientation is just one way. For example, there are some autosexuals who prefer themselves to everyone else when it comes to sexual attraction, but there are also those who are sexually attracted to only people who look just like them. Also, some autosexuals have sex with people other than themselves, but their attraction to themselves trumps all other attraction while having sex (via Healthline). It's almost like an open sexual relationship, but your primary partner is yourself.

"Some experience it more like an orientation, in that they feel more aroused by themselves than by others, and they are called autosexuals," kink-friendly therapist Michael Aaron, Ph.D., tells Refinery29. "It is very common for people to be aroused by themselves [to varying degrees]." So, even if you're not 100% aroused by yourself, you can still have some autosexual tendencies in you, which is fantastic. 

Signs you might be autosexual

There are a handful of signs that you could be autosexual. The first and most obvious one is that you're aroused by yourself and likely prefer masturbation to sex with someone else. If you do have sex, your head is focused on you and not so much on your partner. "During partnered sexual contact, if you have a mirror close by, and your gaze focuses on your own body, and these images evoke arousal (as opposed to the naked body of your partner), then consider autosexual orientation as a possibility," clinical psychologist Lori Lawrenz, Psy.D., tells MindBodyGreen.

Those who identify as autosexual also like to masturbate in front of the mirror and become intensely turned on by doing so while their mind wanders offer to sexual fantasies about themselves and themselves alone. Another sign is if you're into the label "autosexual," because you've then likely realized there's a name for your identity. "Identifying as autosexual can help someone who is autosexual find community, communicate with potential partners, and feel more concrete in their sense of self," sexuality educator Eli Scriver tells Shape.

If this sounds like you, then you lucky devil, you. It's not easy to find your ideal sexual partner, so the fact that you're it for yourself is just, as Carrie Bradshaw would say, fabulous.