Our Best Tips For Fighting Back Against Low Self-Esteem
The unfortunate truth is that too many people in the world are dealing with low self-esteem today. It can be a challenging journey that sometimes feels uphill. If you have a difficult time identifying your own strengths and don't tend to take compliments well, you might be suffering from a lack of confidence.
"Our perceptions eventually create our reality. If we have negative thought processes, we will see things — including ourselves — negatively. Therefore, poor self-esteem becomes the result of our own poor view of ourselves and capabilities," Dr. Jan Roberts tells PsychCentral.
Insecure thoughts can form in your childhood and can follow you throughout the course of your life. Having low self-esteem doesn't need to be something that you're trapped with forever, though. The Verywell Mind Podcast with Amy Morin examines how to beat imposter syndrome and improve your self-image. There are many steps you can take in order to start thinking about yourself and your life in a brighter light.
Challenge your darkest thoughts
Just because a negative thought about yourself floats into your brain, it doesn't mean that it belongs in your mental space. One of the best things you can do for yourself while fighting back against low self-esteem is challenging any negativity that comes your way. Meditation, journalling, and forms of therapy can all help with harmful thinking.
"Wire Your Brain for Confidence" author Louisa Jewell offers self-help solutions to help guide people through removing what she describes as "repetitive negative mind chatter" with her course, "How To Silence Your Inner Critic." If you think about yourself using critical judgment and language all the time, you will have to unlearn those patterns and challenge where the dark criticism is coming from in the first place. Start asking yourself questions about why you have so much self-doubt, or why you believe that you are unlucky, or unwanted. If you can pinpoint where your dark thoughts are coming from, you can start to stop them.
Pay yourself a daily compliment each morning
Giving yourself a compliment every morning can change the entire trajectory of your day. If you feel comfortable praising your friends, family members, and loved ones, then you should feel equally as comfortable commending yourself. According to Baydian Girl, acknowledging your positive traits is the basis of taking care of yourself. You can make a list of the things you love about yourself so that you know which ones you deserve to hear from your own mouth into your ear.
Positive thinking and loving yourself go hand-in-hand, so paying yourself a compliment is a good step forward, per Lead Sports Co. You don't have to focus on how you look, instead you can begin with your inner qualities — your willingness to try new things, for example. Think about how generous and compassionate you are, and tell yourself how proud you are of your long list of exciting goals and achievements.
Write down a list of the things you love about yourself
Writing down a concrete list of all the things you love about yourself is a great way to start building up your self-esteem. It might feel easy to brush off a suggestion like this because you don't think you can come up with more than a couple of nice things to say about yourself. But, you'd be surprised at how many things you'll ultimately come up with. Olga Phoenix explains that most self-love and self-care journeys start with writing down the things you truly love about yourself.
Your list can include your love for others, empathy, ability to tell jokes, and your varied interests. If you consider yourself to be an intuitive person, you should write that down. If you know that you are incredibly open-minded, you can mention that. If you notice that you are naturally curious, that is another highlight worth noting.
Create a clear list of your goals
After you've created a clear list of your goals, you might notice that your self-esteem naturally starts to rise. Knowing that you have plans laid out and aspirations to achieve instantly makes life feel so much more fresh and exciting. Setting expectations and resolutions for the year ahead can help motivate you and keep you focused on what you'd like to change going forward.
According to PositivePsychology, setting clear aspirations avoids putting things off and can help you think positively about the future. Once you know exactly what you want to achieve, it makes you feel more inclined to take action and move forward in life. Having low self-esteem can easily be linked to feelings of inadequacy and stagnation. If you feel like you're totally stuck where you're at, there's no denying the fact that your self-worth is potentially taking a massive hit. Goal setting can help with that.
Cut off toxic friendships and relationships
If you have a toxic friend, family member, or romantic partner in your life, it could be the root cause of your low self-confidence. It's unhealthy to have someone in your life who is constantly dragging you down. Removing toxicity from your circle of close ones can be difficult to do, but it is important to create a path for positivity and success.
Being torn down emotionally over time can cause one to start believing that you simply deserve to be on the receiving end of the mistreatment. The truth is that no one deserves to be treated poorly. The only thing you can do in situations like these are to cut off negative people that are surrounding you. Art of Charm offers ideas to cut toxic people out of your life, including finding a public space to meet, making your boundaries clear, and writing it out in letter form.
Fall asleep to confidence-raising hypnosis videos
One of the fastest and easiest ways to dive into your subconscious and reprogram your negative thought process, in order to raise your self-esteem, is to fall asleep to hypnosis videos. The right ones will guide you properly while helping to raise your confidence and self-worth — you'll be feeling better about yourself in no time. SelfHypnosis explains that it is imperative to relax your body and mind in order to allow hypnosis in any form to make a difference.
When you are at rest, your deep sense of calm will help you to have your thoughts transformed. According to Choosing Therapy, hypnotherapy can be used to help individuals increase their confidence in a matter of weeks. If your low self-esteem is related to early childhood trauma, anxiety, the end of a relationship, unhappiness with your appearance, or something else, you can start fighting back against that negative thinking using sleep hypnosis.
Get familiar with affirmations
There is a lot of power in the use of affirmations. Too many people are unaware of how wonderfully affirmations can work in their own personal lives. PositivePsychology notes that telling yourself good and positive things can be way more effective than you might believe. Even if you're a skeptic to begin with, it doesn't hurt to give it a try and see how much it might change your life. According to LucileHR, there are several self-confidence and self-love proclamations people can repeat to themselves on a daily basis.
Telling yourself that you have value, reminding yourself that you are successful, and building yourself up by talking about how unlimited you can be are just a small handful of examples when it comes to heartfelt declarations. They work more powerfully the more often you repeat them out loud. If you can affirm with yourself that you are on the right track, your reality will fall into alignment.
Learn how to say no
Learning how to say no to others is one of the most loving things you can do for yourself. It may feel more comfortable in the moment for you to say yes to invitations and opportunities, even if you're not inherently interested in those things. In the long-haul, learning how to say no will serve as proof that you truly do love yourself. The higher your self-respect is, the higher your self-esteem will be as well.
Harvard Business Review explains that if you're feeling overwhelmed with your current workload or set of obligations, you have every right to say no before adding something else to your plate. You certainly don't need to feel badly when you say no to others. The anxiety and fear that comes along with disappointing others is something you might experience if you've lived the majority of your life as a people pleaser. Saying no will undoubtedly feel like a challenge at first, but eventually it will start to flow out of your mouth naturally.
Be open to the idea of self-improvement
There's nothing wrong with the notion self-improvement. If you can acknowledge that you might have some room to grow, your self-esteem has the chance to build in a healthy way as well. You can work on improving yourself by joining a book club, picking up new pastimes, enrolling in courses, and attempting to deal with your fears, per Lifehack. Waking up early, sticking to an exercise routine, and getting out of your comfort zone are a few more ideas.
When you know there are certain goals you can achieve, it makes sense to figure out a solid action plan instead of sitting around and waiting for something good to fall into your lap. On the road to improving your self, it helps to ask others for feedback, admit your shortcomings, let go of bad habits, and potentially enlist help from a trusted coach.
Take a social media break
If your self-esteem is suffering because you're constantly comparing yourself to others on social media, taking a digital break might be the smartest option for you. Medical News Today reports that around 58.4% of the global population uses some form of social media, which is a little more than half. Choosing Therapy explains that taking periodic social media breaks can actually improve your quality of life since there are several unfortunate consequences that come along with excessive app usage.
The instant gratification of seeing new content every time you scroll your thumb can lead to internet addiction. The fact that so many people compete with one another online is another major problem. Seeing your old friend from high school buy a new car, or your colleague from work getting engaged might not be the best thing for your mental health if these are things that you actively desire in your own life. A social media break will give you the relief of not having to absorb content from everyone else for a little while.
Schedule a session with a therapist
Scheduling a therapy session with a professional therapist could change your life when it comes to your levels of self-esteem. TherapyTribe explains that changing our self-beliefs and behavior sometimes requires help from a professional who knows how the mind functions. Since therapists are highly trained, skilled individuals who know about mental health, they can be trusted when it comes to a topic as sensitive as self-confidence.
Psychology Tools notes that your self-esteem has a massive impact on your life, despite how fragile it is. If it's in a consistently low state, the rest of your life might not flow together as wonderfully as you would like. If you need help reprogramming your core beliefs and unlearning your negative thought patterns, a professional therapist can make a huge difference in your future. The exciting update about therapy today is that many people can opt for phone and video calls from the comfort of their own home instead of showing up to a clinic or office in order to receive the help they need.
Listen to high-vibrational playlists or podcasts
If you're willing to switch things up with the music and podcasts you listen to, you might notice your self-esteem rising at a faster rate than you would've guessed. Listening to high vibrational music and podcasts can change your life since they can impact our mood and our energy levels greatly. Wix Blog suggests picking motivational podcasts including The Gary Vee Audio Experience, Tony Robbins Podcast, and The Art of Charm.
Perhaps, Maybe Not encourages music lovers to listen to self-care playlists filled with uplifting songs such as "Beautiful" by Christina Aguilera, "Good Life" by OneRepublic, "Who Says" by Selena Gomez, "Firework" by Katy Perry, and "Shake It Off" by Taylor Swift. There are several more podcasts and songs to listen to while you're exercising, driving in your car, or relaxing in a bubble bath. It's important to keep in mind that your subconscious mind is always listening, even if you're playing music or podcasts at low levels as background noise.
Identify your triggers and trauma
Have you taken your triggers or trauma into account while trying to fight back against low self-esteem issues? If not, now would be a great time to start since low self-esteem is typically directly connected to traumatic events from your past. Khiron Clinics explains that terrible experiences with authoritative figures like teachers, parents, bosses, or police officers could be the reason you struggle with self-confidence issues right now.
Healthdirect says that being bullied at school as a child could be another traumatic memory that continues to affect you today. Dealing with abuse, addiction, or betrayal in any form can add layers of trauma to your story. It's your job to pinpoint where exactly your anguish stems from so you can get a handle on your triggers. If something reminds you of the events you endured back in the day, it will trigger you into feeling like you're stuck in that emotionally upsetting situation all over again. Healing from trauma will give you a chance to overcome your triggers. Once you've accomplished this, you can start successfully building up your self-esteem.
Treat yourself to something nice
Creating a true boost to your self-esteem can be as simple as treating yourself to something nice. You have to keep in mind that you deserve the best! People who struggle with low self-worth often don't believe that they deserve anything good at all. Enjoying something sweet will help combat those negative beliefs. HealthPrep says that being good to yourself will benefit you both mentally and physically since you're engaging in self-care.
Lifehack explains that even the tiniest things you do for yourself can improve your mental outlook. A win is a win, after all. A trip to the spa, a brand new set of clothes, or a delicious meal delivered by Uber Eats means you're giving yourself the royal treatment. If you don't feel like spending any money whatsoever, you can still indulge yourself for free. Allow yourself to take an uninterrupted nap in the afternoon. Give yourself a five minute brain break in the middle of your workday. Go for a brisk walk outside to absorb the sunshine. Do anything for yourself that serves as a reminder of your value.
Start gracefully accepting compliments from others
There is a definite difference between being confident and conceited. Being humble and insecure are also not the same. When it comes to accepting compliments, you should do so gracefully if you're in the process of raising your self-esteem. Power of Positivity explains that a lot of people feel awkward or uncomfortable receiving praise. Because of those cringe-worthy feelings, tons of people tend to naturally shut down incoming compliments by denying them instead of accepting them.
Entrepreneur advises that people with high self-esteem know how to accept a pat on the back by saying "thank you" and potentially even paying a compliment back to the original sender. Downplaying or questioning admiration from someone else is never a good look. When you receive an endorsement, you must do your best to believe that the person who offered it was being sincere and genuine. Accepting a compliment, even if you don't feel like it honestly applies to you, will help your self-esteem start to soar.
Flip the script on your negative self-talk
When you find that you're telling yourself negative things, you can flip the script. Instead of saying, "I'm not good at anything," you can try, ""I can be good at anything with a little time and practice." Instead of, "No one will ever want to be with me romantically," instead say, "Sometime soon I know I'll meet the perfect person for me." Our words are incredibly powerful and the way we speak has a huge impact on our lives, beyond our self-esteem.
Footprints to Recovery describes negative self talk as detrimental, explaining that it can focus on downfalls while placing blame on yourself. Once you are aware of negative self-talk in your own life, it's your job to start changing the narrative. Instead of telling yourself, "I'm so unlucky ... nothing good ever happens to me," start saying, "Everything in life always works out, even in the most unexpected ways." This is something that you'll need to work on until it becomes a full-blown habit.