6 Tips To Add Mystery To Your Allure If You Really Want To Intrigue Others

These days, with our lives on blast all over social media, it's easy to overshare. We post about everything, from what we've had for breakfast to when we get our mammograms. Even strangers know more about our daily habits than we may realize. Sure, it's fun to rack up likes on your posts and look at how many followers looked at your Instagram Stories. With many working from home, it's easy to feel isolated. People crave human connection and modern technology allows us to achieve that.


But what happens when you meet someone face-to-face? You might have become so used to sharing everything about your life that you bombard others with details about yourself. Doing so leaves little to the imagination and if everyone knows everything about your life, what is there to be curious about? Add a bit of mystery about yourself and soon, people will be itching to get to know more about you.

Ease off on social media

In the modern world, most people have at least three social media accounts. Sure, they're all used for different reasons, but the one thing they all have in common is they're used for sharing your life. While it's fun to share selfies on Instagram of your morning walk or write a long rant on Facebook about your annoying neighbor, try to keep posts to a minimum. People will be much more intrigued about your life when you pop up once in a while and reveal that you're on an amazing trip in Egypt. Or, you can save your posts for big announcements like an engagement or a promotion.


While day-to-day activities are fun to scroll through (we all love to see what others are up to), it's the wow factors that really grab our attention. Stay off the radar for a bit and save the social media posts for something newsworthy. Your life will seem that much more exciting to others.

Let others do the talking

Have you ever met someone for the first time and just spilled everything about yourself? Sometimes you find yourself connecting with a new friend or a first date and you can't stop gabbing. However, telling your whole life story will probably cause the other person's eyes to glaze over. Share a fact or two about yourself and let your conversation partner ask you questions. Don't give up too much information, though. Answer just enough to satisfy the person.


Being mysterious doesn't mean that you have to stay quiet. Not saying anything will lead to awkward silences. Be curious about the person you're talking to. After you've shared a tidbit about yourself, ask the other person what their dreams and hobbies are. Your curiosity will make you seem intriguing and others will be flattered by your interest in them. Remember, people love to talk about themselves, but it's much more alluring when you draw them out of their shells.

Don't be the center of attention

When you're in a large crowd and you see a person talking animatedly to a group of people, your eyes will naturally be drawn to the one that's the center of attention. To be that confident and bold is awe-inspiring and may attract others in the moment. However, being a spectacle leaves little to the imagination and you probably already got the sense the person loves to be the life of the party.


While you don't have to be a wallflower, stand out in a crowd by being a bit quiet and mysterious. Talk to one or two people, rather than a group. If you're alone, look friendly and approachable. Take interest in what's going on around you. People tend to gravitate towards soft-spoken people, as they are less intimidating. Having a calm demeanor while others are fired up also adds allure to yourself. A quiet self-confidence is much more attractive than someone that demands attention.

Find an unusual hobby

You can learn a lot about a person based on where their interests lie. Learning about what someone does for a living is a basic conversation starter, but what they do for fun is what makes them interesting. Many people love to garden or go for a long jog, but that's pretty common. What if you told people you love to forage for mushrooms in Central Park? Or perhaps you spend your weekends visiting places people have claimed to see UFOs. It may sound quirky to some, but mysterious people are a bit eccentric.


Don't be afraid to stand out by being unusual. People love new ideas and experiences. Your out-of-the-ordinary hobby is a great conversation starter and others will want to get to know more about you. It's an added bonus if you find someone with the same interests or gain a new friend who wants to join you in your kooky activities.

Learn about different topics

As with unusual hobbies, knowing about a broad range of topics will add to your allure. Intelligence is an attractive trait and having knowledge about many things will mean you can contribute to any conversation. However, don't just try to memorize the encyclopeda. You don't want to sound like a robot spewing facts. Think about several things that interest you and do a deep-dive into the topics. Music is a great way to connect with other people. Perhaps you're into Indie Rock. Learn about new bands that are so off the grid, no one's heard about them. Maybe you just learned about Lowercase Music and want to share that with someone. Surprising someone with new knowledge will make you intriguing.


Knowing several languages will make you seem worldly and well-traveled. Additionally, being adventurous with food and learning about different cultures is an impressive trait. The more you know, the more others will want to know about you.

Be okay with being your own company

Have you ever seen someone sitting alone in a coffee shop and wanted to know more about them? Perhaps you're intrigued by the book they're reading or are wondering what they're listening to on their phones. Seeing someone sit in quiet solitude automatically makes them more mysterious.


While it's fun to hang out with your crew at times, being alone is great for self-reflection. When it's just you and your thoughts, you have time for internal growth and revelations, which will make you a more interesting, compassionate person. Having some downtime also helps you recharge, so that when you're in the company of others, you can be your best self.

You will also add to your mystery if you're not readily available all the time. Don't answer texts or pick up calls right away. The busier you are, the more people will clamor for your attention. Just don't be too evasive or they'll think they're being ghosted. The trick is to show people just enough attention so they'll come back for more — just be your charming, alluring self!