Signs You Are Emotionally Ready For A Relationship
There are plenty of signs to look out for when you're trying to decipher if you're emotionally ready for a relationship. Any relationship is a big deal that requires serious work. It doesn't make sense to strike up a committed romance with someone if you aren't completely ready to invest in them. It's a huge sign of emotional maturity to avoid committing to someone when you aren't ready. You must be at a place in life that allows the other person to feel nurtured and valued.
It also shows a huge level of maturity to put yourself out there in finding a new relationship when you know you're fully on board to take one on. Having a partner in life is a beautiful thing because you'll feel supported through difficult times and celebrated during happy times by someone who loves you. There's no denying the fact that romantic relationships have the potential to bring an abundance of positivity into anyone's life. Are you personally ready to take the leap and commit to someone, though? These are the signs you should consider.
You enjoy your solitude
As contradictory as this might sound, being able to enjoy your solitude is a huge indicator that you're ready for a relationship. If being alone is something that torments you and leaves you feeling distraught, you're definitely not ready for a relationship. People who are ready for relationships have learned to enjoy their own company without the influence of anyone else.
If being in solitude drives you crazy, makes you feel lame, or sparks a bit of frustration, then you have some inner work to do. The healthiest relationships are built between two people who already feel satisfied in their own separate lives. Those who believe they won't be fully "complete" without a romantic partner are likely to stir up some unfortunate negativity at some point in their relationship.
If you're not comfortable in your own solitude, you'll end up putting too much pressure on your partner's shoulders once you do finally start dating them. People who aren't comfortable being alone might start showcasing clingy and needy behaviors in new relationships. Since these people loathe being alone, they'll often push to spend as much time as possible with their new partners. Ultimately, partners who feel suffocated will end up distancing themselves.
You have a strong network of platonic friends
Having a solid network of platonic friends is a lot different than having a romantic partner, but it's still important to have good friends before you start dating someone new. If you're completely isolated without a single friend to call, your future partner will potentially end up getting overwhelmed by the pressure of being the only person you're focusing on.
When you have other friends to give your attention to, it gives your partner the chance to spend time with their friends or focus on their own individual hobbies without feeling guilty. It might scare a potential partner to find out you don't have any friends, and they'll start wondering if there are some mysterious red flags with you that they haven't noticed yet.
Instead of letting anyone you're dating become doubtful about you, it's better to get ahead of things by cultivating as many platonic friendships as you can while you're single. You can meet new friends by hanging out at your local bookstore or coffee shop, signing up for Meetups, going to fitness classes, visiting churches, or simply putting yourself out there on platonic friend-swiping apps like Bumble BFF and Hey! Vina.
You're excited to share your life with someone
There's something quite beautiful about being able to share your life with someone you love. If the idea of sharing your life with a romantic partner excites you, then you're definitely ready for the commitment of a relationship. This sentiment applies to people who feel like they've achieved plenty of wonderful things in life, but still have the desire to bounce their positive energy off of someone else in a romantic sense.
When you're dating someone who supports your dreams and aspirations, it feels wonderful calling them to share brilliant and exciting news whenever something amazing happens. Launching a new business, graduating from college, getting a promotion at work, or landing a brand new job are a few things that could make you feel incredibly proud of yourself.
Having that one special person to call with electrifying updates is a beautiful thing to experience. Going through the exhilarating motions of purchasing your first home, finding out you're pregnant, or moving to another city are marvelous life transitions to share with a romantic partner as well. If the idea of going through all of these things with someone by your side sounds ideal, a relationship is a natural next step for you.
You've already experienced the freedom of living alone
The freedom that comes with living alone is something everyone should experience at least once in their adulthood before committing to a relationship where they'll live with their significant other. Most people live with their parents or guardians until graduating high school and moving away to college. This isn't the case for everyone, but tons of people can relate to the experience of living with a roommate or two during their young adult years.
While living with your parents or living with roommates, you never really have the chance to experience total freedom. After all, there are other people residing in your living space. You can't blast your music, walk around naked, or use the bathroom with the door hanging open. When you finally get the chance to live alone, you can decorate the place exactly how you want, eat whatever foods you like, watch whatever shows you enjoy, and stay up as late as you desire.
No one bosses you around or tells you what to do when you live alone. As soon as you get into a relationship with a partner who wants to live with you, you instantly have to start considering them with every choice you make regarding your living situation. It's a must to experience the freedom of living alone beyond living with parents, roommates, or significant others.
You've been single for an adequate amount of time
No one else can decide what an adequate amount of singleness looks like for you, except you. Some people believe that six months of singleness is enough time to heal before moving on with a new partner. Others believe you should be single for at least one good, solid year before putting yourself out there again. Others are convinced that it takes the same length of time as your failed relationship in order to fully and properly heal.
For example, if the relationship lasted three years, they believe it would allegedly take you three years to completely move on. You might not personally subscribe to any of these narratives, and that's completely fine. It's up to you to decide if you've been single for an adequate amount of time as you're deciding to start dating again. You must decipher whether or not you're fully healed from the inside out whenever you think about past relationships and the possibilities to come in the future.
You no longer desire your ex
One of the most obvious signs that you're not ready to start dating is if you still have romantic feelings for your ex. It's pretty clear that you're ready to date new people if you no longer have any desire to reconcile with your ex. This means that if your ex randomly reached out to you with a bouquet of flowers, a handwritten note, and a scrapbook filled with pictures of all your best memories, you still wouldn't agree to get back together.
If the scenario you just read sounds tempting to you in any capacity, then odds are, you aren't ready to move on to a new relationship. It wouldn't be fair of you to link up with a new partner while still battling strong desires for your ex. Your new partner might not be aware of the fact that you're grappling with such conflicting emotions, but it can ultimately lead to serious issues down the line. It's best to make sure your romantic feelings for your ex are completely gone before you start dating new people.
You no longer harbor anger toward your ex
It's completely normal to experience feelings of hatred or anger toward an ex-partner who broke your heart. You might've been blindsided by someone you trusted or lied to by someone who promised to always be honest. You might've been abused physically, sexually, or psychologically by a partner who pretended to be a good person when you first started spending time with them. Regardless of what your ex put you through, it's a surefire sign that you're not ready to move on if you're still filled with rage whenever they pop into your brain.
While it's true that you might not have any feelings of desire for your ex anymore, harboring feelings of anger proves that they still have some form of control over your mind and your emotions. As frustrating as this is to hear, it's up to you to forgive your partner for the ways they hurt you, so you can be in a healthy-minded position to move on with your life. It wouldn't be fair to your future partner if they were forced to clean up the emotional mess your ex made, either. Make sure that you're a healed person as you start interacting with new people on a romantic level.
You've solidified your relationship standards
Katy Perry said it best in her hit song "Roar" from 2013. She sang, "I let you push me past the breaking point. I stood for nothing, so I fell for everything." In other words, when you don't solidify your standards, it's easy for you to be walked on like a doormat by other people. Without any standards in life, it's easy for you to fall into emotional traps with partners who aren't healthy for you. It's your job to solidify your relationship standards and set boundaries before putting yourself out there with new potential partners. You have to decide what you won't settle for when you're dating.
Don't treat your standards like a wish list, either. These are fundamental needs that must be met before you commit yourself to a relationship. A few examples of solidified standards include dating someone who's completely faithful, dating someone who doesn't engage in self-destructive behaviors, and dating someone who considers himself to be ambitious and goal-oriented. If you come across someone who doesn't meet all of your relationship standards, you have to hold your ground and walk away. Settling for less than what you know you deserve is a recipe for disaster.
You can provide what you'd expect someone else to provide
You're definitely ready for a relationship when you know you can provide exactly what you'd expect someone else to provide. You are fully aware of what you bring to the table! This means you don't have to settle for anyone who's bringing anything less your way. For example, if you're earning a six-figure income, you live alone in a nice place, you drive a nice car, you have a solid network of friends, and you enjoy a handful of pleasant hobbies, then the partners you date need to be able to successfully meet you where you're at.
If the partners you're meeting are nowhere near your tax bracket, still live with their parents, don't have a working vehicle, don't have any friends to hang out with, and can't think of any hobbies to get busy with, they probably aren't the right match for you. You would be doing yourself a disservice by linking up with someone who can't provide the same things you're able to provide in a relationship.
You're not annoyed when potential suitors approach you
Folks who aren't ready to start dating will get instantly annoyed when potential suitors approach them. An example of this would be a young woman who's fresh out of a relationship trying to order a drink at a bar. If three different men approach her trying to buy her a drink, get her number, or invite her to their table, she might gradually become exasperated, irritated, flustered, and annoyed. She wants to be left alone without anyone disrupting her peace.
She's the type of person who isn't ready to date because she'd rather not be approached at all. On the contrary, if you feel completely fine with the idea of being approached by potential suitors whenever you're out, it makes sense that you're ready to start dating people. You know that not every single person who approaches you will be your perfect match (and a lot of the people who try to talk to you might not even be attractive in your eyes), but you're still not annoyed by the idea of people approaching you to pursue you.
You're comfortable with compromises
When you're in a committed relationship with someone you love, you have to be comfortable making compromises. Relationships are two-way streets that require an abundance of effort from both parties involved. If you expect your partner to bend and fold to every command you make, chances are they won't stick around for long. The same rule applies the other way, as well. Your partner shouldn't expect you to stay in a relationship if you feel like you're the only one who's always sacrificing hopes and desires in order to keep things running smoothly.
When two people are in a relationship, they must agree to make compromises about tons of things all the time. If this is a concept you're comfortable with, then you're definitely ready to start dating someone new. An example of making a healthy compromise would be dating someone who loves watching true crime documentaries, whereas you absolutely adore romantic comedies. Instead of dominating the television with romantic comedies every evening, the two of you can create somewhat of a trade-off schedule, so you both get a chance to watch the entertainment you individually enjoy.
You aren't willing to settle for situationships or lackluster connections
In today's world, it's incredibly common for people to get caught up in situationships with people who offer nothing more than lackluster connections. Situationships are fairly easy to identify for those who are concerned about getting stuck in one. They develop when one or both parties involved refuse to commit or take the other person seriously. "Friends with benefits" and "sneaky links" are some other common terms to use when describing this type of problematic romantic connection.
One thing we do know for sure is that a situationship is not a relationship. You can't depend on your situationship partner to be there for you, remain loyal to you, or make you feel secure. You know you're ready for a real relationship if the idea of a situationship repulses you and turns you off. Keep in mind that settling for a lackluster connection like this is proof that you're not actually ready for a real relationship with someone who honors you, values you, and respects you.
You're actively manifesting a partner
Have you been going out of your way to actively manifest a romantic partner in your life? If so, this is a huge sign that you're ready for a real romantic relationship to come your way. Some people claim that they want to date someone new, but they don't take any steps to meet the right person. Those who actively start manifesting a partner are willing to change their language around relationships as they try to attract their soulmate.
An example of this is stopping yourself whenever you have thoughts about possibly ending up alone forever or whenever you start thinking there aren't any good men or women left out there for you. People who are actively manifesting a relationship will flip those thoughts around into something positive using present-tense language. Someone manifesting a relationship will say, "I'm so excited to meet my soulmate, and I have a feeling they'll be coming into my life soon enough."
They'll say words like, "I'm grateful there are so many good-hearted people in the world, and I can't wait until I meet the one I'm meant to spend my life with." If you've already started swapping out your language to become more positive in your process of manifesting a partner, then you're on the right track. Other forms of manifestation include journaling, experimenting with different rituals, and using healing crystals that attract romantic love.
You're willing to wait patiently for the right relationship
Patience is key when it comes to waiting for the right relationship. This is an incredibly important factor to think about when you decide if you're ready for a new relationship or not. Those who aren't truly ready will jump into relationships with people who aren't energetically aligned with them because they'd rather be with someone than alone. At the end of the day, it's actually better to be alone than to be with the wrong person. Being with the wrong person simply blocks you from meeting the right person because you're spending all your time focusing your energy and attention on someone who isn't right for you.
Instead of allowing such a serious flub like that to happen, it's best to avoid jumping into anything with a partner who's making you feel doubtful or hesitant about the future. Dating the wrong person simply prolongs the length of time it takes for you to get to the right person. It actually makes more sense to stay single a while longer and remain patient for the right person to come your way.
You've mastered emotional maturity
Do you feel confident in saying that you've mastered emotional maturity? This isn't something everyone is able to accomplish, but if you feel like it applies to you, then you're certainly ready to start dating someone new. Mastering emotional maturity is an absolute necessity before entering into any new relationships. It's not fair to link up with a partner if you're emotionally immature.
If your go-to tactic is to give the silent treatment and shut your partner out whenever you feel upset about something, this is a sign that you are not emotionally mature. If you'd rather snoop through your partner's phone messages instead of confronting them face-to-face about concerns you're having, this is a sign that you are not emotionally mature. If you'd rather vent to your friends about all the ways your partner is irritating you instead of politely asking them to make some changes, this is a sign that you are not emotionally mature.
You assume your relationship will have a positive outcome
People who aren't ready for relationships have negative perceptions of what will happen when they fall in love. These are the type of people who assume their relationships will inevitably crumble at one point or another due to some type of tragic fallout. Too many people assume the worst because they've been hurt in the past. While it's certainly understandable, it still isn't the right way to live, nor is it the right way to approach romantic relationships with new people who haven't done anything to hurt you or break your trust yet.
If you assume that your next relationship will undoubtedly have a positive outcome, you're definitely ready to start dating. You aren't assuming your next partner is going to cheat on you, abuse you, or randomly call it quits out of boredom. Instead, you're in a positive headspace assuming that your next partner is going to be faithful, loving, and consistent. If you can honestly say that you've broken free from the shackles of pessimistic thinking in the world of love, you're on the right track for a healthy upcoming relationship.
Instead of jealousy, you're happy seeing other people in love
How do you feel when you see couples who are head-over-heels in love with each other frolicking around in your vicinity? Are you struck with pangs of jealousy and anger? Or do you feel happy whenever you see blissful couples because they give you a glimpse of what your future relationship will look like? If your honest answer is that seeing happy couples fills you with tons of jealousy, you're definitely not ready to start dating.
You should be happy for other couples who've found love because it simply showcases the fact that true love exists in the world. Viewing love between others through a cynical lens means you have a very unhealthy mindset. The world would be a scary place to live in if there weren't any happy-go-lucky couples living their best lives to witness. Knowing that other people have found their way to each other and are successfully enjoying a shared bond should make you feel enthusiastic about what's to come in the future when you meet the right person yourself.
The idea of putting yourself out there excites you
Instead of getting shy or dismissive about the topic of putting yourself out there, you know you're ready to start dating when this subject gets you super excited. People who aren't ready to date wouldn't be caught dead at singles mixers, speed dating events, or on dating apps. People who are ready to get into relationships, on the other hand, will easily be spotted in any of those places and on any of the apps.
Agreeing to let your friends set you up on blind dates is another sign that you're ready for a relationship. People who aren't ready for a relationship would never agree to go on a blind date with someone they've never met, seen, or talked to. Saying "yes" to various social invitations that fill up your calendar is another huge indicator that you're ready to start dating. You know that the more events you go to with your friends, the easier it will be for you to cross paths with someone who interests you.
You have a deep-rooted instinctual feeling that you're ready
No one knows you better than yourself. That being said, you should listen to your heart when it comes to your readiness for a relationship. If you have a deep-rooted instinctual feeling that you're ready to date someone new, you should listen to that feeling. Our instincts send us messages loud and strong as a way of protecting us. If everything within you is pointing toward your readiness to date, there is no reason to sulk into a shell without taking any action.
It's true that putting yourself out there can be very uncomfortable and awkward, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't still try if you're seriously ready for a relationship. If your instincts are telling you it's time to meet your soulmate, there are plenty of routes you can take to put yourself in a position to make that happen. Start placing yourself in the right locations as often as possible to open the door for potential romantic introductions.