The Cost Of A Long-Distance Relationship May Extend Beyond Emotions
They say absence makes the heart grow fonder, and they're right. As a matter of fact, the majority of couples are long-distance at some point during their relationship, and are able to make it work, according to Lasting. While that is good news, being geographically separated from each other doesn't come without its challenges. Unsurprisingly, couples in long-distance relationships have more obstacles to overcome than those living in close proximity to one another. It certainly takes a toll on your emotional state, not having the option to see your partner whenever you want.
However, maintaining a healthy long-distance relationship costs more than just your emotions. There is one particular factor that comes into keeping your love alive, and it's important to thoroughly consider it before diving into something long-distance (if you haven't already). This isn't meant to scare you out of trying to make your relationship work; it's just to give you a heads up on what it's going to take.
It's extremely costly
If you and your partner face a major distance between the two of you, be prepared to shell out a bunch of cash to make the relationship work. Should you live far enough apart that traveling requires a plane ticket or long car ride, you're looking at potentially hundreds of dollars each time you want to see each other. For example, say you live in New York and your partner is in Illinois. The average cost of a roundtrip flight at the time of writing is $403, and that's during the low season, per Kayak.
You also have to factor in the cost of Ubers, meals, and hotels (if you're driving a long distance or have an overnight layover), and these necessities really start to add up. If you're taking multiple trips to see your partner on a regular basis, it's bound to become a financial burden over time.
This financial burden can affect the relationship
Say your partner can't take time away from work, so you're the one stuck doing all the traveling. This means you're spending a good chunk of your cash to see them, but it's never reciprocated. When this happens, it's easy to become resentful towards them. You may feel it's unfair for you to face the financial burden, even if it isn't their fault. Taking on the brute of travel costs can cause a serious strain on your relationship. According to 2017 research cited by The Sydney Morning Herald, financial stress is the number one driving factor in separation.
On the plus side, there are a variety of ways to prevent this sort of resentment in a long-distance relationship, and it all comes down to compromise. Talk with your partner about the possibility of alternating visits, or splitting costs to take some of the burden off. If the journey is too long and not financially feasible, think about meeting somewhere between the two of you. At the end of the day, it doesn't matter where you are — it's about spending time together.
Unreasonable expectations result in disappointment
At first, dating long-distance may seem like a piece of cake. The two of you promised to FaceTime every night, and already planned when you'll see each other next. They're going to visit you this month, then next month you switch. You even have it all written down in a planner to stay on schedule. However, life happens, and it may not be as easy to see one another as much as you hoped. These promises may seem reasonable, but at the end of the day, it puts a lot of pressure on a long-distance relationship.
In the event one of you loses your job or an unexpected financial issue arises, it can really throw a wrench in your travel plans. Instead of seeing each other every month, it becomes an every-other-month or every-two-months situation. As brutal as it sounds, money doesn't care about your relationship. If you don't have the funds, you don't get to see your person whenever you want. The disappointment that comes with these unmet expectations is something you'll likely have to work through if you want your long-term relationship to last.