The Beige Flag That Might Have You Scratching Your Head On The First Date
To say dating is exhausting is an understatement. Between keeping up with dating apps and going on disappointing first dates, it's easy to get frustrated and want to give up on dating altogether. However, there are those moments when you connect with someone, whether it's online or in person, and you find yourself wanting to pursue it further. You think, maybe this is the one! So, you set up a date and see if you really are as compatible as you think — and hope — you are. But even in these situations, you need to keep an eye out for beige flags.
You're probably familiar with red flags: indicators of unhealthy or harmful behavior in a relationship (via BetterUp). They're easy to identify and can reveal themselves at any time. For example, you come across someone on a dating app that says they support Andrew Tate, a misogynistic influencer who has openly compared women to dogs, according to EducationWeek. Beige flags, on the other hand, signify that a person hasn't put a lot of effort into their dating profile, or is just boring. These are naturally more subtle and difficult to spot. But they're important to look out for, because they could indicate that a person isn't actually taking dating seriously, or is filling their profile and conversation with claims that they think you want to hear — claims that aren't necessarily true.
Are they looking for someone to go on adventures with?
At first, someone seeking adventure sounds cute and wholesome. They aren't interested in a one-night stand or friends with benefits situation. If you also love traveling and experiencing new things, you sound like a perfect match ... or do you? Believe it or not, this statement is an absolute beige flag. Saying you want to find a partner to share in your adventures is such a vague term that it could mean anything, which in turn makes it pretty lame and uninteresting.
What sort of adventures are they looking for? Does an adventure mean going to a new restaurant, or do they want someone willing to join them on a trip overseas? Because this statement is so vague, it gives off the vibe that this person doesn't have original thoughts or ideas; it seems like something they read on the internet they think people will find interesting. Unless they're more specific about what kind of adventures they're seeking, it's possible that this "desire" just isn't genuine.
They consider themselves a foodie
Here's another beige flag you're likely to come across sooner or later, considering the vast amount of foodies out there. If your date mentions they love food and think of themselves as a food critic when they work in finance, they can easily come off as pretentious. At the end of the day, everybody loves food, so it doesn't really make for interesting conversation, or indicate that you've found someone who stands out from the crowd or put effort into their profile. On the other hand, if they talk about a time they traveled to a different country and the type of cuisine they enjoyed, there's room for follow-up questions.
If you're interested in their hobbies and they say they really like cooking, you can keep the conversation going, asking if they have a specialty dish or how their love of cooking came to be. But eating food alone isn't a hobby; it's a necessity. If a date tells you that their hobbies include being a foodie, it's worth considering whether or not you're up for a second date.