Your Partner May Change Over The Years, And That's Not A Bad Thing

People change. You have changed over the years, and you'll continue to change in the years to come. Everyone, everything, and every place you know has and will change. So, as much as we may like things to stay the same, it's just not happening: There's always a forward-moving march toward change that's part of life, and you simply can't avoid it.


Because change is all around us, then, you shouldn't be surprised when your partner changes. If you two fell in love at 20, neither you nor your partner will be the same person at 30 as you were in those college years, and that's completely normal. In not changing, one essentially denies themselves knowledge, experience, and progress — which is no way to live — so you should want your partner to change, as much as you hope to change yourself.

While at first the idea of someone you love changing can feel daunting, considering it happens over time, it's not as though their newness is going to be a shocking slap in the face. Instead, it's much more likely to be a slow evolution that you'll be able to watch as your partner grows and maybe even becomes the person they were always meant to be. It can truly be beautiful for not just them, but you and your relationship together, too. Here are changes you may see in your partner that are a good thing. 


Your partner may embrace new hobbies

Hobbies are always an asset in one's life, but they become even more important in a relationship. People who have hobbies that they can do solo are self-sufficient, aren't afraid of alone time, and enjoy their own company, which is a good thing for a relationship. Too much time together rarely goes over well.


Like lots of things in life, interests come and go. What your partner was passionate about when you first met may end up being replaced by something else. They might have once loved swimming, but now they prefer hiking, or maybe their stamp collecting days are long gone and now they'd rather collect and display butterflies — and the walls in your living room are proof of that.

Being a part of that change, even if you're not the one doing the hobby, will give you the opportunity to see your partner flourish in other ways. The passions we have for things like our hobbies say a lot about who we are and the person we're growing into.

They'll change in their appearance

Change in appearance isn't just one of the easiest changes someone can make, but thanks to time, no one really has a say in it. Unless, of course, they go under the knife or double and triple up on baby Botox. Grey hairs, laugh lines, extra freckles from the sun — it all pops up the longer we're alive and roaming around the earth. At some point, you'll realize the person you met years ago only vaguely resembles the person who sits before you now — and this will be a stunning thing. As much as getting older has bad rap, every wrinkle and grey hair is earned. You'll be proud of this older, wiser-looking person, just as much as you were proud of their younger self.


If time doesn't get to them first, they may realize they want short, platinum hair instead of long dark hair, or they might start getting tattoos in places where they didn't have ink done before. Neck tattoo, anybody? They'll do these things for themselves as they come into their own.

Your partner could shift in their beliefs

Some people come to an "a-ha!" moment at a certain point in their life, and their beliefs shift from one end of the spectrum to the other. An atheist can become a believer, a republican can become a socialist, and a meat-eater can become a vegan. Even if you're not exactly thrilled by the fact that your partner is going to church every Sunday, campaigning for Bernie Sanders, and not eating the cheese plate you put together, loving your partner through it all and loving every version of them speaks volumes of your commitment to the relationship and them as a partner.


Being able to change direction in beliefs and values is a privilege and not something that should be judged by others or taken for granted by those changing the direction. There's so much freedom that comes with looking at your life and realizing that you don't feel the same about things as you once did. As long as your partner isn't pushing their new belief system on you and they don't give you a hard time for wearing wool socks in the winter, then it's all good — and a good change. 

They'll discover new parts of themselves

Although the brain, according to science, isn't fully developed until the time we reach our mid- to late 20s, it doesn't mean that we necessarily know who we are or what we want once we reach that age. Sometimes it takes half a lifetime, or even a whole lifetime, for people to realize every part of themselves. To be a truly complete person in this world takes a lot of living. With new experiences come introductions to new likes, dislikes, and that feeling that sits somewhere in between but is still essential to deducing who we are as a whole.


Over the years, there's a very good, if not a guaranteed, chance that your partner (as well as yourself) will discover parts about themselves in every corner of who they are — sexually, creatively, philosophically, and then some. While you may not be on board with everything 100%, loving someone and being in a relationship with them has to allow for growth. If you wouldn't stand in the way of the sun reaching a flower, then you shouldn't hold your partner back from blooming into all the parts of themselves and all the things they can (and will) be. Embrace your partner's change, celebrate it with them, and in turn, they'll embrace your changes, too.