Cobwebbing: The Dating Trend Empowering You To Move Forward

Even if you're not a diagnosed hoarder, sometimes throwing out what we no longer need just doesn't happen. We let things pile up and up, and even a proper spring cleaning purge isn't enough of a reason to toss the stuff that's been laying around for years, serving zero purpose. We do this for one reason and one reason only: What if someday we need that now-ratty T-shirt we bought at Coachella in 2011? We also do the same thing with our contact list in our phones. What if someday we need to text that fling from two summers ago or try to get back with that ex who broke our heart over and over again? Although you don't need the fling, the ex, or the Coachella T-shirt, it still doesn't stop us from hanging on far longer than we should.

Although there are no stats as to how often 12-year-old T-shirts actually get worn, there are stats on those who have revisited the ghosts of partners past. According to a survey by YouGov America, 44% of people report having gotten back together with an ex, and 21% of that group have done so more than once. While the idea of getting back with an ex can seem romantic in theory, these situations can lead to low relationship quality, low sexual and relationship satisfaction, and an overall feeling of needing something more, but despite this, neither partner wants to cut the cord.

But there's good news for those folks who keep living in the past with their relationships. You can outrun your exes. It's just a matter of learning the importance of cobwebbing.

What's cowebbing?

Cowebbing is a dating trend that comes from the concept of dusting off those cobwebs that have been plaguing your home. But in this scenario, the cobwebs are all those past lovers and relationships that you've yet to muster the courage to dust right out of your life so you can be free of them.

When used in the dating trend sense of the word, cobwebbing may include deleting numbers and messages from exes, throwing out things you have at home that remind you of them, and basically doing a proper detox so everything ex-related is eliminated from your whole world. While there are many ways to get over an ex, starting at home with things you interact with every day — like your phone and living space — is what will get you moving toward a life where they don't have a physical impact 24/7. Instead, they just exist in your memory, exactly where exes belong.

Why is it so empowering?

As much as we should thank our exes — cue the Ariana Grande — because we wouldn't be where we are or who we are now without them, it doesn't mean we need them sticking around. People come and go, we outgrow places and things, and that's how it's supposed to be. When you take the time to realize that hanging on to exes, no matter how serious or casual the relationship, is just a waste, then you're able to propel yourself forward with your life. You can't go into a new relationship hoping it will work when you're tied to relationships of the past.

Being able to stand up and know that enough is enough is a truly empowering move. When we empower ourselves, we take control of our lives in the present, as well as the future. We're no longer at the mercy of others and the decisions they've made for us, but we've taken control over our destiny. Letting go of your exes and giving yourself the opportunity to start anew is empowerment at its highest. So, get to cobwebbing all those exes stat.