Tips For Navigating A Relationship With Someone Who Is Quick To Anger

Dating someone who's quick to anger isn't the easiest thing in the world to deal with. You might be completely in love with your partner, but you're certainly not in love with the way they react in situations that grind their gears. Chances are, your partner didn't exhibit this side of themselves at the beginning. You likely didn't realize they have anger issues until you were invested in the relationship and already in love with them. 

Usually, relationships start off in the honeymoon phase, where both people naturally view each other through rose-colored glasses. Once the two of you are deeper involved in your relationship, it becomes easier for true colors to be revealed. After seeing your partner lose their temper one too many times, you might be questioning whether or not your relationship is worth saving. You might also be wondering if there are ways you can navigate a healthy relationship with your partner that will successfully go the distance.

Do your best to pinpoint where your partner's triggers are coming from. When you figure out what triggers your partner, you'll know exactly what to avoid to keep the ship sailing smoothly. If your partner always gets fired up when you forget to turn the dishwasher on, make it a priority to turn it on before stepping out of the kitchen. If your partner gets really annoyed at you whenever you're late coming home, make sure you're always communicative about what's keeping you from getting home on time. 

While there are healthy ways to react to triggers, your partner may not be aware of theirs at all. You can start to figure them out together over time if you pay attention to their responses. Odds are, their triggers stem from different experiences that created trauma within them from their past.

They might've always gotten yelled at for forgetting to turn the dishwasher on as a child, so dishwashers are now a trigger. A loved one might've gotten into an accident while your partner was waiting for them to get home, so your lateness is now a trigger. It's easier to work with your partner's triggers when you understand where they come from. 

Your patience has to come with the territory if you choose to be in a relationship with someone quick to anger. If patience isn't something that's already one of your strong suits, you may have to strengthen yourself in this department. A partner who's quick to anger probably doesn't have much patience to work with. This means that a lot of the patience between you will have to come from you.

This could be an excellent way for your partner to learn by example if you're leading them in the right direction with your behaviors and actions. The more they see how patient you can be in different situations, the more they might want to emulate your way of living. After all, it feels better to utilize patience by having a calm and tranquil outlook on life. If you consistently exhibit patience in front of your partner, hopefully, they'll be more inclined to act the same.

There's a reason your partner is so quick to anger. It probably stems from past trauma they've experienced throughout their lifetime. It's possible the worst trauma they endured occurred in their childhood. Since you know your partner has been through some heartbreaking situations in the past, it makes sense that you would want to exhibit compassion toward them. People who resort to anger as an immediate response to everything bad that happens are people who need the most love, friendship, and encouragement. 

Your partner will feel incredibly loved by you if you're comfortable exhibiting compassion whenever the situation arises. Instead of immediately getting annoyed about their anger issues in the middle of a traffic jam, show them a more gentle side of love and compassion. Say something like, "I know being stuck in traffic sucks, but at least we're together, and we get to have some quality time." When you show compassion to your partner by spinning negative situations into positive ones, it can be incredibly helpful.

Just because you're dealing with a partner who gets angry quickly doesn't mean you're suddenly going to be their doormat. It's vital that you set boundaries in your relationship and continue to stand up for yourself while maintaining your composure. Partners who are quick to anger might say certain things to rile you up in the middle of a fight. Instead of letting any harsh words get under your skin, prove your peace of mind by maintaining your composure through and through. 

In the heat of the moment, it's possible that your partner will go out of their way to get a rise out of you when you attempt to stand up for yourself. It's your job not to let them get that rise out of you! Maintaining your composure typically means doing everything in your power to stay calm, cool, and collected. Don't raise your voice at them, become exasperated, and do anything you'd regret. Most of all, don't do anything that would lower yourself to their level.

Sharing bad news with a partner who's quick to anger is never fun. For this reason, it makes the most sense to hold off on sharing bad news until you're somewhere completely safe. In other words, if you know your partner is prone to raising their voice at you or stirring up major drama when you've told them something they didn't like at home, it will save you a lot of trouble to tell them bad news somewhere public. 

If your partner has any sense of dignity at all, they'll be too embarrassed to go off on you in front of strangers. You can choose a restaurant, coffee shop, internet café, dog park, or somewhere else you're super comfortable. Another way you can go about this would be to make sure mutual friends are present before sharing bad news to ensure your partner doesn't totally lose their cool.

You might think the easiest way to navigate your relationship is to walk on eggshells around your partner — but this would actually be one of the biggest mistakes you could make. Avoid the inclination to walk on eggshells at all costs with a partner who's quick to anger.

When you walk on eggshells around this type of person, you become nothing more than their doormat. They realize they can get away with tons of their bad behavior because you're going to accommodate them without any complaints. 

Living a life where you're walking on eggshells with your partner isn't exactly fulfilling. You feel like you can never let your guard down, be fully comfortable, and actually be yourself. You're always in fear that one little thing you say will set them off. Instead of succumbing to the temptation to walk on eggshells with your partner, keep standing up for yourself while maintaining your composure.

You have to respect yourself enough to end the relationship if things turn physical. People who are quick to anger often only resort to yelling, cursing, and screaming when they're upset. In the worst possible case scenarios, people who are quick to anger will also resort to physical violence.

If you've been on the receiving end of physical violence with your partner, you have to accept that you are a victim of domestic abuse. This isn't the type of situation where you should be making excuses for your partner or coddling them based on their past traumas.

There are plenty of people who struggle with trauma from their past who don't end up becoming physically (or emotionally) abusive to others. A partner who is quick to anger might become a partner who's willing to punch a wall, break down a door, or physically assault their partner. As soon as things turn violent, the relationship should immediately end.

If you or someone you know is dealing with domestic abuse, you can call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1−800−799−7233. You can also find more information, resources, and support at their website.