12 Tips For Finding The Best First Dance Song For Your Wedding Day

Getting married is a blissfully wonderful experience for couples who know they've chosen the right person to spend the rest of their lives with. When you're in the process of dating around, it takes quite a bit of time to narrow down your options and figure out who should stay in your life for the long haul. Once you've come to the conclusion that your partner is your soulmate, conversations about getting married typically follow suit. Once you and your partner get engaged, it's normal to start planning various wedding day details to ensure a memorable and momentous occasion. 


Keep in mind that the first dance you share with your partner is a memory that will stay with both of you for the rest of your lives. This is a moment when the two of you make your way to the dance floor as all your friends, family members, and loved ones admire just how beautiful your love story is. Deciding which song you and your partner should dance to isn't the easiest task for everyone. Other couples you know might've pinpointed the perfect song for their first dance right away, but if you're having some doubts about which song to choose, here are a few tips that will steer you in the right direction.

Create a playlist filled with songs you love with your partner

One of the first steps to take when trying to decide on a first dance song is creating a playlist with your partner. The two of you can take turns adding different songs you both absolutely adore to the playlist. You might take an approach where you control the playlist by adding 50% of the songs before handing it off to your partner to add the other 50%. This isn't a time to be overly picky about songs that you both like. Since this is such an early stage in the song selection process, you can approach playlist creation from a more lax and casual headspace. 


Do your best to add every single song you thoroughly enjoy listening to. Any song that makes you feel warm and fuzzy when you hear it on the radio should be added to your playlist! You and your partner must refrain from making each other feel weird or bad about any songs being added to the playlist at this stage. Creating this playlist together should be treated as a bonding experience that brings you closer as you open up about different music tastes you individually have. You might even learn a new thing or two about your partner based on the songs they add to the playlist.

Listen to every song together to see which one resonates the most

Once the playlist has been created with your partner, the two of you should listen to every song from start to finish to see which one resonates equally with the both of you. In other words, it doesn't do you any good to choose a song that melts your heart if it isn't emotionally connecting with your partner. If the roles were reversed, you'd be quite annoyed dancing to a song you can't stand, even if your partner is obsessed with it. 


Right away, you and your partner will be able to nix certain songs from the playlist based on immediate reactions and responses you'll each have. This is an important time to show each other respect through solid communication and patience. Things can get a little frustrating if there are a few songs, you would love to use as your first dance, but your partner isn't on the same page with you. Keep in mind that your wedding day is a shared moment of bliss between you and your partner. This means both of you need to emotionally connect with the first dance song so one of you doesn't end up feeling disregarded.

Consider adding songs that relate to pivotal moments in your relationship

It's a great idea to consider any songs that relate to pivotal moments in your relationship. For example, if you and your partner are high school sweethearts, think back on any lovey-dovey songs that were playing during prom night. If you and your partner met at a coffee shop, try to think about whatever song was playing in the background during your first conversation. You and your partner might've crossed paths for the first time at a mutual friend's birthday party. Were there any romantic songs playing on the speaker at that event? 


One of those songs might be perfect for what you're going for. At any point in time, have you ever dedicated a song to your partner to express your love to them? Is it possible that your partner has done something similar for you? These are the types of songs you want to keep in mind as you make this decision. Think about any songs that were playing when you and your partner shared your first kiss, when you agreed to be in a committed relationship with them, when you were intimate with each other for the first time, or when you got engaged.

Carefully read through the lyrics

As your list starts to become more narrow, it's time to start reading through the lyrics to make sure the songs you're choosing actually represent the love story between you and your partner. There are tons of songs that sound lovey-dovey on the surface but actually represent heartache, infidelity, and abandonment. One example would be "Lips of an Angel" by Hinder. The 2005 ballad sounds like an ode from a man to a woman about a relationship he desperately misses. When you do a deep dive into the lyrics, though, you learn that he's describing his desire to cheat on his current girlfriend with his ex-girlfriend. 


He spends a portion of this song describing his need to sneak around in order to hop on phone calls with his ex while describing her voice as being so sweet she has the "lips of an angel." Hearing those words without paying attention to the context of the song is enough to make anyone believe it's a typical love song. Lyrics are very important when it comes to the first song you'll dance to at your wedding because you want the words to genuinely represent the love story between you and your partner. This means there shouldn't be any mention of heartbreaking negativity hidden by beautiful melodies and upbeat jingles.

Make sure you can play your song at your chosen venue

Based on the religious rules of your chosen wedding venue, make sure you'll be able to play the song you and your partner decide on. This is especially important if your wedding is taking place somewhere like a church or other religious institution. The lyrics should be completely appropriate to avoid offending anyone in charge of the venue. Making sure the song lyrics are appropriate goes beyond the rules of your venue, though. 


This is also a necessary factor to consider if you plan to have young children at your wedding. Kids don't need to hear songs filled with lyrics describing sexual desire, lyrics brimming with curse words, or anything else that might be considered too edgy. Along with the protection of little ones, you'll also want to consider any elderly guests who will be at your wedding too. Instead of upsetting any of the older guests who will be in attendance at your wedding with songs that push the boundary of what's appropriate, play it safe by choosing a song that anyone can listen to at any time or place. If you wouldn't play the song on the loudest possible volume in the middle of a daycare, old folks home, or church service, then it's probably not the right song to pick.


Decide if you want the song to go along with any specific themes

Have you already decided on a specific theme that makes the most sense for you and your partner at your wedding? There are tons of themes to choose from that will make your day as unforgettable as possible. If you are opting for a romantic wedding, you'll want delicate lighting, soft color hues, and an abundance of flowers everywhere. If you're going for a more vintage-style wedding, you'll want to pull inspiration from events that took place throughout history. 


If a whimsical wedding is more of what you're desiring, multicolored flowers, streamers, balloons, and other decorations will fit into that realm. Going for a holiday theme is fabulous as well if you're tying the knot with your partner in the middle of winter. Along with typical wedding decor, you might include gourmet candy canes and ornaments for the aesthetic. 

After your theme has been decided, you and your partner can decide if you want the first dance songs to go along with it. A romantic wedding theme would require a romantic song. A vintage wedding theme would require a song from the '50s, '60s, or '70s. A whimsical wedding would require a song that reminds you both of fairy tales and magic. A holiday wedding would require a song that encompasses the holiday spirit without overshadowing your actual wedding.


Determine the type of mood you want the song to convey

You and your partner must determine the type of mood you want the first dance song to convey. Do you want a song to evoke emotion in you and your wedding guests? Do you want it to be more humorous and lighthearted so everyone will be able to share a laugh? You and your partner have to decide exactly what you're going for when it comes to the mood of your big day. Keep in mind that you only get married once! 


The first dance song is an incredibly meaningful and powerful moment where you and your partner get to show off how close you are to everyone in attendance. A lot of couples are comfortable choosing a song that dives deep into their emotional cores because they understand how life-changing marriage can be. Other couples prefer choosing songs that are more silly and playful because they don't want to spend more time crying than smiling. Songs that are super comical are perfect for couples who share a similar sense of humor and prefer keeping things easygoing and laid back.

Watch wedding videos of other couples on social media for ideas

There's no shame in getting inspiration from other couples who've already successfully tied the knot. There are plenty of wedding videos to reflect on thanks to social media platforms like Instagram, YouTube, TikTok, and Twitter. You might not want to copy the exact wedding song of someone in your life like a sibling or friend, but you can still get ideas from other couples in the world who you're never going to meet in real life. It's not difficult to scour through different social media platforms in search of first dance moments to see which songs were ultimately chosen. 


You'll notice that some couples choose modern love songs released by artists like Adele, John Legend, and Lana Del Rey. Other couples will choose older love songs that have been around for decades by performers like Whitney Houston, Elton John, and Aerosmith. As you analyze different videos you come across on social media, you can decide which clips stand out to you the most based on their song choices. Take note of different dance moves, facial expressions, and comfortability between couples as they dance with each other to their specific songs.

Consider dance choreography that will pair well with your song

It's crucial to keep in mind that you and your partner will actually be dancing together to whatever song you select. Consider the choreography that will pair well with your chosen song before you make any final decisions. Some couples choose to learn legitimate choreography from an instructor in preparation for their weddings. Other couples stick with a basic two-step dance routine while holding each other close to experience the moment. However, you and your partner are choosing to approach the choreography is up to you. Still, the song you choose will make an impact on the dance moves your friends and family will see. 


If you choose a super slow song to dance to, the two of you will have to move your bodies slowly to go along with the beat. If you choose a song that's a little more upbeat, the two of you will have to move your bodies faster in order to keep up. If you and your partner are both comfortable showing off your dance moves, this won't be the biggest factor to get concerned about. If you and your partner both feel uncomfortable about dancing in front of a crowd, then you might want to take the choreography factor a little more seriously.

Think about the length of your chosen song

How long do you intend to be dancing with your partner in front of your invited guests when the time comes? This is another detail to think about when deciding which song works best. You and your partner might be looking forward to the moment when the spotlight is on you and everyone there can admire just how in love you really are. If that's the case, choosing a song that's on the longer side makes a lot of sense. 


If you and your partner can't stand the idea of people staring at you for an extended period of time, opting for a shorter song will be the more comfortable choice. Songs can range in length anywhere between two minutes and five minutes on average. There are some songs out there about last for up to 10 minutes, though. For example, Taylor Swift's hit song "All Too Well" is a little more than 10 minutes long. It's up to you and your partner to decide how you feel about dancing for a little or long while on the dance floor together.

Consult with family, friends, and members of your bridal party for advice

You'll definitely want to consult with your friends, family, and members of your bridal party for advice on this topic if choosing a first dance song is proving to be way too difficult. The reason this is a smart move to make is that the people closest to you obviously know you well. You wouldn't ask a stranger for advice about something like this since they don't know anything about your style, your taste, your interests, or your romantic relationship. 


You'd be able to consult with people you're close to since they know enough about you to come up with solid and helpful suggestions. Your partner should do the exact same thing when it comes to inquiring with people they're close to for some first dance song suggestions. Once both of you have spoken to a handful of individuals you trust, you can bring any new song ideas to each other to discuss further.

Choose a song you'll be happy to reflect on for years to come

The most important thing to keep in mind when choosing the first dance song for your wedding is picking a song you'll be happy to reflect on for years to come in the future. In this modern generation, most people plan to have their entire wedding ceremony and reception filmed for posterity. Every moment of your wedding will be saved to look back on in the future, including the moment when you and your partner share your first dance. 


If you choose a song that isn't going to connect with you down the line, you might think back on your song choice with some regret. In order to avoid this, think about songs that fall into the category of "timeless." Songs that are timeless sound amazing at any time no matter how many years pass by. Timeless songs can be produced at any moment, so this doesn't mean you have to choose a dated song, either.