4 Signs You're In A Stagnant Relationship (& How To Revive The Passion)
When you're in a long-term relationship, it's totally normal to feel like things are stagnant, or that the passion is no longer there. So, what happened? When you first started going out, you couldn't keep your hands off of each other. The relationship was fiery and passionate, but after the honeymoon phase, that chemistry just wasn't the same. Maybe you two go weeks without being intimate, or perhaps, you've stopped doing things together (no, being on your phones in the same room doesn't count as spending quality time).
Nearly every couple experiences this feeling at one time or another, but there's a difference between being comfortable with your partner and being in a stagnant relationship. Being comfortable around each other means you can be yourself without fear of judgment, whereas being stagnant can feel like the other person is a million miles away. If you've been feeling disconnected from your partner, take a look at these signs to tell whether or not your relationship has become stagnant as well as some things you can do to revive that passion.
You feel alone, even when you're together
One of the biggest signs you're in a stagnant relationship is that you miss them even when they're around. When the two of you are together, you feel like their mind is somewhere else, and sometimes, it can seem like there's no one there at all. This has a lot to do with a lack of communication, which can lead to insecurities in a relationship, per PsychCentral. You may feel like your partner is no longer interested in the relationship, and perhaps you even have concerns they're being unfaithful, which is why they're being distant.
To combat these thoughts, the best thing to do is talk to your partner. Have the conversation at a time when you don't have to rush, so the two of you can really talk things through (aka not as they're walking out the door). Who knows? Maybe they've been feeling the same way but were too afraid to say anything. The good thing is you can improve communication in a relationship, per Happily Committed. The key is to practice empathy; validate your partner's feelings so they know you're hearing and understanding their concerns.
Nothing seems to excite you
When you're in a stagnant relationship, things don't excite you the way they used to. The two of you have grown so comfortable with one another, that things feel stale. Neither of you are eager to get out of the house and do something fun together, even if that means going to see a movie or trying out a new restaurant. Sometimes, being too comfortable can come off as lazy, and this laziness may potentially convey to your partner that you have no interest in keeping your relationship alive.
The trick to getting that excitement back is by stepping out of your comfort zone and encouraging your partner to do the same. For example, maybe you suggest that the two of you go rollerskating, even if neither of you has ever put on a pair of skates. Sure, you might be nervous to try it, but think of this nervousness as excitement! You might fall on your butt a few times, but it's better than sitting at home watching Netflix until it's time to go to bed.
There's a drastic decrease in intimacy
This is one of the more obvious signs your relationship is in a state of stagnancy — your sex life is non-existent. You haven't touched each other in weeks, or maybe even months (yikes). Sexual intimacy is one of the main pillars of a healthy relationship, as it creates a stronger bond between you and your partner, according to Regain. Sexual intimacy leads to emotional intimacy, so it's important you maintain a healthy sex life. If you continue to ignore this part of your relationship, don't be surprised when things begin to feel stale.
To revive the passion, try something new! If your partner is always the one to initiate sex, it's your turn to take the reins. The Healthy recommends trying new positions or giving more attention to foreplay as well. And don't limit your physical intimacy to just the bedroom either. Find excuses to touch your partner throughout the day — going in for a kiss that lingers a bit longer than usual, giving their behind a little playful swat as they walk by, or cuddling up to them on the couch are little ways to keep the spark alive. They may not seem like a big deal, but in a stagnant relationship, little changes like these can make all the difference in how you view intimacy with your partner.
You turn a blind eye to their mistakes
This is a sign you aren't emotionally invested in either your partner or the relationship because you don't care enough to call them out for their wrongdoings. In other words, you're too forgiving, so you turn a blind eye to their mistakes. Frankly, it's like you've given up trying. Perhaps, they made a huge purchase that greatly affected your financial situation, but instead of getting upset and addressing the situation, you say nothing. Or perhaps when you do say something, your partner dismisses your concerns, and you end the conversation without a second thought.
As the saying goes, the opposite of love isn't hate — it's indifference, and indifference can drastically affect your relationship. If this is something you've been dealing with a lot recently, it's a clear indication one or both of you have checked out. If this is a relationship worth saving, it's important to sit down with your partner and reconnect.