5 Signs Your Relationship Is Heading Towards Its End
No matter how perfect a relationship might look on the outside, every couple experiences bumps along the way. When you and your partner are going through a rough patch, you have to ask yourself: Is it a fight you can work through, or is it bad enough to end your relationship? Of course, it can be difficult to know exactly when (and if) you should call it quits, as every couple is different — perhaps you and your partner are able to work through a case of infidelity, while others draw the line at cheating.
If you're stuck in limbo and aren't sure what to do, there are certain signs to look for in your relationship that can hint that it's time for some closure. This doesn't mean you have to relate to every single sign, but if you find that you and your partner are experiencing many of these circumstances, it's worth sitting down and having that tough conversation about whether your partnership can be salvaged. Before you make any decisions, take a look at these five signs your relationship might be nearing its end.
You aren't spending time together anymore
This one is pretty much a given. If you and your partner are hardly spending any time together anymore, that's a tell-tale sign that things are coming to an end. At that point, you're basically just two people tied together by an invisible string. You can blame it on being busy or tired, but when you really want to spend time with someone, you'll make an effort to do so, no matter how packed your schedule is or how exhausted you may be. You're partners, after all — why wouldn't you want to have moments with just the two of you?
If you or your partner are regularly making up excuses to avoid seeing one another, you may as well call it quits right now. Obviously, you two aren't as passionate about each other as you once were, and it isn't fair to waste their time or yours. It's one thing to spend more time apart if you've arranged for circumstances like one of you often traveling for work, but if you're actively avoiding spending time together when you have the opportunity to do so, that's a good indication that your relationship isn't meant to hold on anymore.
Needs aren't being met
One of the major signs your relationship is coming to a breaking point is when one or both of your needs aren't being met, whether they're physical, emotional, or both. Every person has their own set of requirements that must be met in order to feel satisfied in their relationship, and when a person feels that those needs aren't acknowledged, they're likely to search for someone or something that will meet those needs. For example, your partner may require more emotional intimacy than you can provide, despite the numerous times they've articulated exactly what they want.
In situations where you don't think your sexual needs are being met, you might find yourself fantasizing about other people during intercourse — or just fantasizing in general. Marriage and family therapist Dr. Tarra Bates-Duford assured Fatherly that this is natural and common in partnerships, but she warns that fantasizing about someone other than your partner too much can mean trouble for your relationship. "This is particularly true if you're preoccupied with sexual images of someone else and can't enjoy intimacy ... with your partner unless you are fantasizing about someone else," she said. If you notice this is happening on a regular basis, it's time to sit down with your partner and express your concerns. You might find they've been feeling the exact same way.
You don't have the same long-term goals
Even if things are going really well in your relationship, if you and your partner don't share the same goals — such as getting married or having kids — it might be time to pull the plug. When you aren't on the same page about major life decisions, it's difficult to move forward with the relationship. Think about it — would you want to stay with someone who doesn't want the same things you do? They might never want to get married, but it's really important to you. Perhaps they want to live in the city and you're ready to move to the suburbs. Can you live with the idea that you might never achieve those goals — or that your partner might have to unhappily leave some of theirs aside — for you to stay together?
Whatever the case may be, being on two different pages in life is something you really need to examine if you want to move forward in your relationship. Your partner might be your person, and it might be super difficult to let things go, but at the end of the day, you both need to do what's best for you. Let the other person find someone who wants the same things as they do, and allow yourself the opportunity to do the same.
Your communication level is basically non-existent
It's no secret that communication is one of the main pillars of a healthy relationship. Without good communication skills on both sides, you can't expect things to last very long. This could mean talking through your issues or simply talking to each other on a daily basis. According to Marriage, in the early stages of a relationship — otherwise known as the honeymoon phase — couples tend to communicate seemingly every second of the day. This isn't necessarily healthy either, but you could argue that it's better than not speaking to each other at all.
Depending on who you ask, being passionate and loud is more productive than giving each other the silent treatment — at least in that situation, the two of you are actually communicating. It's definitely not the best way to work out your issues, but at least it shows you're trying. But if this is your only form of communication — and your issues never seem to get resolved or even grow worse — it's clear your relationship is coming to an end.
You don't trust them or vice versa
Just like good communication, a strong level of trust is an absolute must in any relationship. Perhaps your partner has a history of cheating and you're worried they might pull a similar stunt with you, or maybe they've already cheated and broken that trust you once had. On the flip side, they may have never given you a reason not to trust them, but your insecurities have gotten in the way. Either way, when you still don't have 100% faith in your partner's loyalty to you, that's a definite sign to think about ending the relationship.
Of course, there are several things you can do to work through trust issues, like going to couples therapy or simply expressing your concerns to your partner, but this doesn't guarantee you're going to fully trust them at the end of it. If you've exhausted all your options and still don't have confidence in their fidelity, it's not likely you ever will.