How To Have A Successful Rebound Fling Without Catching Feelings
Being in a relationship with someone creates a safe space and a sense of familiarity, and anybody would agree that going through a breakup is one of the hardest challenges life can throw at you. If you and your partner were together for a long time or shared a deep and meaningful connection, breaking up with them can make you feel like your world has been suddenly turned upside down.
This is because close romantic relationships also tend to integrate themselves into our lives in a way platonic relationships don't, and losing these relationships create a sense of unfamiliarity and a void in our lives that we desperately try to fill.
Of course, one way to do that is a rebound relationship. A rebound relationship, as the name suggests, serves solely to help one or both parties work through and process a previous relationship. However, many people get emotionally attached to their rebound partners without realizing it. So how can you avoid this?
Are you in one?
If you have recently been through a breakup and find yourself in a new relationship or are with someone who has recently been through a breakup, there is a high likelihood you're in a rebound relationship. There are, of course, other signs that point to it too.
For example, if you constantly talk about your ex, or vice versa, this could mean that unresolved feelings are still lingering. Another sign is that your relationship feels fast-paced and almost hard to keep up with. This emotional rush can feel like a whirlwind romance but might signify a rebound relationship. Other signs include emotional unavailability, a relationship revolving around rebound sex, mixed signals, and no sign of commitment.
Having said that, rebound relationships mustn't be demonized. As long as both parties are consenting adults and are fine with the arrangement, rebound flings can bring a lot of fun and excitement.
How to not get attached
The key to a successful rebound fling is ensuring no feelings are involved, ideally between both parties. Of course, there are many things you can do to avoid making that happen.
If, for whatever reason, you want this rebound relationship to be just that — a fling and nothing more, you must fully accept this fact and commit to it. Drawing a boundary and giving a relationship a clear meaning can help you stick to it without making it something it's not. Have the "what are we" conversation if you must. This will make sure both parties understand the nature of the relationship and don't expect anything more from it.
Also, try to keep communication to a minimum to avoid catching feelings. This means no constant texting or calling. Keep it casual and fun, and don't make it a significant part of your life. Try to avoid introducing your fling to your friends and family, and avoid letting them into your life in a meaningful way. Rebound flings are meant to be short-term, so what's the point of sharing too much with them?
Is it worth it?
At the end of the day, however, the most important question is whether rebound flings are a healthy coping mechanism in the first place. The answer to this might not be so black and white. But rebound relationships can be incredibly healthy if done right. This means making sure you do it with the right person, at the right time, and with the right frame of mind. Otherwise, things can turn sour and unhealthy really quickly.
A rebound fling will likely help you get over your ex and move on. It's a great distraction and can be especially effective if you've got incredible sexual chemistry with each other. It will also boost your self-esteem and make you feel the rush of a blooming relationship. Also, rebound flings are a sign that life and love post-breakup is possible, even if maybe it doesn't seem that way when you're heartbroken. However, there are also some downsides to these types of casual flings that you should look out for.
What to look out for
The first and most obvious con is that these relationships are, more often than not, temporary. They can also temporarily distract you from the bigger burden of your breakup. Once the fling ends, your feelings of heartbreak will likely return. There is also the chance that the rebound fling also ends terribly, adding more fuel to the fire. This is why setting boundaries and communication early on in the relationship is so important.
After all, we are hardly in charge of our emotions; even when we are, they can sometimes be incredibly hard to manage. Especially post-breakup, we are in quite a vulnerable state, which must be considered before plunging into a new arrangement. You must be in touch with your emotions first and foremost. No distraction can last long enough for you to run away from yourself. So, make sure you're in touch with yourself and make conscious choices that you know will benefit you — whether that is a rebound fling or not.