Your Guide To Giving Gifts In A New Relationship

There is so much to enjoy when you're in a new relationship. The magic of the first few dates, the anticipation of waiting for a text, and then butterflies flapping in your stomach whenever you think of the person. Although it's an intoxicating time of life, it can also be very confusing. Deciding how much texting is too much, how eager to appear to see the other person, and wondering whether or not they are the right match are all parts of a new relationship that can be difficult to navigate.


It's often confusing when your relationship hits a new level, and gift-giving may be a part of that confusion. Knowing what gift you should get at the perfect price point can create a little stress. You don't want to come on too strong, but you don't want to underwhelm them either. If you're in a new relationship and you're wondering what the rules are for gift-giving, there are some guidelines to follow to calm your worries.

Use time frame guidelines

Some couples enjoy the art of a small gift here or there at the beginning of a relationship, but there are some things to consider if you are worried about the length of time and type of gift matching. If you're really looking for some guidelines for gift-giving based on how long you've been together, use the months as a measuring tool. 


Hal Davis suggests that you wait to give a gift until you've been together for at least a month. Doing so before then may intimidate your partner or send the wrong message, and it could stop the relationship before it even starts. If you've already met their family and friends, this is a good gauge that a small gift is appropriate. This usually happens a few months into the relationship. After a few months, gifts are expected and encouraged. How extravagant you get depends on the specific dynamics within your own relationship, and discussing the expectations you both have is a great idea.

Notice what they like

If you and your partner are in a brand new relationship, and you have a gift-giving holiday on the horizon, it may be difficult to decide just what to get them that won't send out the wrong signal but will also be thoughtful to receive. If you know enough time in advance that you'll be needing a gift and it's early on in the relationship, try to observe what they indicate that they like on a small scale. Listen to what they say they enjoy as they speak casually.


Whether it is music, fitness, reading, or sushi, there may be some clues as to what would be a great gift for them to receive. If you listen to what they enjoy and surprise them with a gift that honors one of their interests, they will be delightfully surprised and you'll hit a gift-giving home run. Sometimes the clues to the gift are in everyday conversation.

Do your research

When you do get a good idea of what they might appreciate the most in a gift, take some time to research the best course of action for purchase. If you know they enjoy music, maybe their favorite artist is going on tour near you. If they are into fitness or a sport, consider sporting equipment, a sporting event, or workout gear. All of these gifts show your thoughtfulness, but none of them are over the top in terms of cost or commitment. In addition, many of these categories of gifts offer you both something to look forward to.


If you put together what you notice they love with some research about how to best give this gift, you'll not only impress your new partner, but you'll also show you care in a way that is well-thought-out and appropriate for the length of time you've been together.

Start small

If you are just starting out in your relationship, you will absolutely want to start small with gifts. If your first gift to your new partner is massive, you'll have nothing to build up to if the relationship ends up standing the test of time. Gift cards, flowers, and small pieces of memorabilia from places you go together are great ideas for a budding relationship. If you've only been dating a couple of weeks and are considering a gift for a new beau, consider a date night with a night out on the town.


Not only is there very little pressure beyond having a good time, but you'll also leave the commitment at the door. They only have to commit to a fun night out. This type of gift also sets you both up for memories for years to come if the relationship lasts a long time, so it's a win-win!

Establish expectations

No matter the approach you take when it comes to gift giving, make sure to ask your partner what their expectations are. Communication is important throughout all stages of your relationship, and you may want to set a precedent early on when it comes to gift-giving expectations. Talk to them about gifts they enjoy receiving from a romantic partner and what gifts to stay away from altogether. In addition, explain what you expect and enjoy in terms of gifts as well.


Though it may feel a little awkward at first, talking about it helps take the mystery out of it. And while it may seem like it would dim the magic of the experience, it actually provides you both the opportunity and freedom to be creative within the limits you've both set. Explain to your partner what you're expecting from them for the upcoming gift-giving holiday and ask them in return.

Be true to your word

If you and your partner have established boundaries and guidelines for gift-giving, make sure to be true to your word. There is nothing worse than thinking you are on the same page as your partner only to discover they went above and beyond. That type of behavior isn't honest and could set your relationship up for distrust. If you've made an agreement about how much to spend and what kind of gift to get each other, follow that plan. 


Earn Spend Live reminds us that if this relationship is going to stand the test of time, you'll have plenty of opportunities to spoil your partner as you see fit. Wait for that part of your relationship to come, and you'll be glad you stayed true to your word. This will set up a foundation of trust and communication that is so vital for any relationship, and it will help you both know what to expect at gift-giving time.