Alphabet Dating: The Fun Way To Liven Up Stale Date Nights

The first few dates with a new romantic interest are often exciting, no matter what the plans are. Even something as simple as grabbing coffee and sitting on a park bench can be exhilarating. However, fast forward to a steady relationship and you may find yourself running out of date ideas or recycling the same tried and true activities. While being comfortable in a relationship can signal that things are going well and you feel settled in with your partner, spicing up date nights can go a long way in ensuring things don't get stale.


If you're having trouble thinking up new ways to connect with your boo, why not give alphabet dating a try? As the name suggests, you plan your dates according to the letters of the alphabet, starting with A and finishing off the cycle with Z. TikTok user Travel with Tan has put together a premade list if you need some inspiration, with suggestions like bowling and boat ride for the letter B, and a massage or a visit to the museum for the letter M. Going down a list of letters will give you the incentive to see this fun project all the way through, and who knows? You may just be inclined to start all over again at A.

Alphabet dating can help you and your partner become closer

Couples who have been together for a while often look for ways to revamp their relationships. One great bonding experience is coming up with ideas together for alphabet dates. The simple act of planning alone time together is a mini-date in itself. Put your phones away, turn off the television, and brainstorm possibilities for your date nights. In the process, you may learn something new about each other, which can bring you closer. Planning things together strengthens a couple's bond and mutual love for each other.


"Research has shown that when couples work together as a team, their relationship satisfaction and quality increases," therapist Christiana Ibilola Awosan shared with The New York suggests taking the time to ask each other questions and uncover things you never knew about each other. Incorporate this into planning your alphabet dates, and you may discover that your partner has always wanted to go skydiving or try sashimi for the first time. When going down the alphabet, ask each other what you've never done before but want to try. It could be something as simple as archery or crabbing. As long as you're having fun together, you'll be making memories you'll look back on fondly.


Surprise each other with your alphabet dates

Has your relationship gotten to the point where you and your partner finish each other's sentences and can read each other's minds? Perhaps it's time for a shake-up. Instead of planning all your alphabet dates together, save a few for some surprise hangs. This is where you have to dig deep and really think about your partner's likes and dislikes. Know what is a hard no for your loved one and don't force them to do something you know they won't enjoy, such as taking them to a climbing wall when they're afraid of heights. Think of options that will delight them — there's nothing like seeing the instant joy on their faces when you reveal your thoughtful date plan.


If you know that your beau loves to garden, take them apple picking in the fall or do some summer strawberry harvesting. Do they like whiskey? Surprise them with a tasting at a local bar. Since these dates require some forethought, alphabet dating is a perfect way to incorporate surprises and add romance to your relationship. According to motivational speaker Tony Robbins, "It sounds counterintuitive, but planning for spontaneity can make a huge difference for partners — especially when it comes to how to keep the spark alive. Planning a surprise date is a great way to break out of your rut and show your partner you're thinking of them."

Use alphabet dates to get out of your comfort zone

At this point in your life, you probably know your likes and dislikes. Plenty of people shy away from change and new experiences. While it's easy to stick to your comfortable niches, trying something you've never done before on your alphabet date can broaden your horizons, and you'll have your partner alongside you. According to Psychology Today, trying new things can be frightening but has many benefits. You may enjoy the new experience, it'll keep you from getting bored, and you'll grow from it.


For one of your alphabet dates, choose something you and your partner have never done before. It doesn't have to be as adventurous as shark diving or spelunking. Something closer to home like a silent disco or taking a salsa class can be a new and enjoyable experience. "Doing new things together creates excitement and fun and continues to give you new things to talk about and dream about," relationship coach Prem Glidden shared with Chopra. It's okay to try something a bit out of your wheelhouse, and your alphabet date may even turn into a newfound hobby for the two of you.

Mix in splurges with budget-friendly dates

Going out can be expensive, especially if you're dining out and having drinks. Even going to the movies these days is wallet-draining, thanks to the cost of tickets and concession stand snacks. If you're aiming for dates once a week or even once per month, expenses can quickly add up. However, not all of your excursions have to be pricey. For every splurge, consider mixing in low-cost or free date ideas. Hiking is a great way to bond with your partner while getting in some steps. Cooking together is also a fun and affordable way to enjoy good food. Think back to activities you enjoyed as a kid that didn't require spending a single dime, such as roller skating or completing a 1000-piece puzzle.


When you want to go big, that's when you spend the bucks. View your splurge as a reward for your budget-friendly date nights. You can go for a boat ride around your city or relax with a couples' spa treatment. Splurging once in a while can give your mental health a boost. "Psychologists say that if you splurge ... It can act as kind of charge to the brain. You'll relieve some stress and it can actually help you get through tough times," Kelli Grant of told CBS News. By alternating between fun, free outings and nights of pampering, you can keep your alphabet dates lively while also potentially benefiting your health.

Plan alphabet dates with your friends

Sure, alphabet dates are a great way to connect with your partner, but you can also experience them with your besties. If you find yourself meeting your pals for brunch every Sunday and cocktail hour on Thursdays, perhaps it's time to conjure up some new plans. During your next hangout, make a list of fun activities while going down the alphabet. If it's with your BFF, choose fun bonding time ideas, like a paint-and-sip session or a mini road trip. With a group of friends, concerts and evening picnics are great social activities.


Whether you're trying alphabet dating with your friends or partner, therapist Nicole Saunders explained to HuffPost, "The purpose is to challenge each person to be open to hobbies, events, and experiences that aren't in common. With an open mind, it's possible to realize you don't mind live sports, or pedicures, or hiking, and so on." She added, "And even if the date confirms your dislike of your partner's hobby, you have an opportunity to improve the connection and sharing of ideas by being willing to go along with a good attitude."