How To Start Meaningful Conversations On Dating Apps
Apps have pretty much become the go-to when it comes to dating, no matter if you are looking for something casual or hope to end up in a serious relationship. And for some, dating apps are one of only a few ways to actually meet a potential partner because many people are still working from home almost three years into the COVID-19 pandemic, according to Pew Research Center.
Worldwide, more than 300 million people use dating apps (via Business of Apps). With those numbers, the love of your life could be in the palm of your hand and just one swipe away. And as much as these apps have become commonplace for meeting people, trying to get a conversation started — and a meaningful one at that — can feel really difficult. Like, how are you supposed to go from a simple greeting to talking about core values in a way that's both authentic and interesting? Thankfully, these tips can help.
Keep the questions coming
An easy way to spark up a conversation is to first learn more about the person by reading their profile (via Women's Health). Discovering clues about who they are and what they like to do can help guide your conversation. "When engaging with someone for the first time, it's important to signal you're interested in them," Dr. Jess Carbino, a former sociologist for Tinder and Bumble, tells Women's Health. "The safest question to ask is, 'Where are you from originally?' because everyone is from somewhere."
Since a strong opener can be tricky, even for a seasoned online dating app user, lean into asking questions to keep the conversation flowing. Bustle recommends asking about a specific TV program, what they made for dinner, or what made them laugh recently. "You may be surprised to find out that you both share a similar outlook and/or unique sense of humor," relationship coach and marriage and family therapist Dr. Marisa T. Cohen tells Insider.
And if someone can make you laugh over an app and you can do the same for them, it's like hitting the dating app jackpot. "A shared sense of humor is vital in relationships," dating coach and relationship expert Connell Barrett tells Elite Daily. "We want to laugh with our partner. It's human nature. Laughing together is a powerful way to affirm our romantic bond."
Take your questions to the next level
When a comfortable banter has been established, and you have a good, or at least decent, understanding and appreciation of their personality and sense of humor, it's time to pull out the big questions, according to sex and relationships expert Ruby Payne (via Newsweek). "'Hey, I'm free on Friday at 8 p.m. Drinks?' This one may sound forward, but try just setting your first date in stone so you can get to know each other face-to-face," Payne says. "I'll admit, this line is a bit of a gamble, but if it works, you've hit two birds with one stone."
The next big one? Ask them about their end goal when it comes to dating apps. If you've established comfort, made each other laugh, and maybe even experienced a bit of intimacy, why not get straight to the point? Especially if you're on a dating app looking for something more than just a casual hookup. "Intentional effort leads to intentional results," Lily Womble, founder and CEO of Date Brazen, tells Cosmopolitan.
If you're intentional in your pursuit and your conversations, you'll find them evolving into a more meaningful realm. Although looking for a partner on a dating app may be a bit of a struggle, as long as you're honest about what you want, show interest, and receive interest in return, there's definitely room there for your conversations to grow into something meaningful offline too.