How Vulnerability Can Help Save A Failing Relationship

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Whether you've been with your partner for quite some time or you are just starting out on your dating journey, you may be looking for ways to experience a better relationship. Your life is busy. You take care of your job, your chores, your home, and your kids, but one area of your life that can be easily neglected is that of you and your partner. It's easy to see why. With all of the responsibilities in your life, you don't want to look at your love interest as another chore on your to-do list (via VeryWellMind). You may even be distant from your significant other and not know it. 


Depending on how long you've been with your partner, they could be a safe place to just release exhaustion and emotion, or they could be feeling neglected. If you feel that your relationship is teetering on the edge of failing, you may want to readjust your approach. Putting your guard down and becoming vulnerable may actually help you keep your relationships genuine and honest. 

Why vulnerability is beneficial

While it may seem counterintuitive, taking off your armor and admitting you don't have all the answers in every situation may be the kind of honesty your relationship demands. In her book, "Daring Greatly," Brene Brown says, "Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it's having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome. Vulnerability is not weakness; it's our greatest measure of courage." While we figure out our own human condition, it may be beneficial to our loved ones to be along for the journey. Life is not something coupled people should have to do alone.


Your lack of vulnerability may be a shock to you. In many cases, both partners probably have blind spots holding them back from ultimate relationship bliss. Meredith Resnick of Shame Recovery tells VeryWellMind, "A blind spot doesn't necessarily mean a fault or a weakness, but rather a deeply held belief about oneself or about how a relationship is supposed to work..." If you come to the relationship with an open mind and all walls torn down, the progress you and your partner can make in terms of trust and intimacy can be great.

What vulnerability looks like

Vulnerability in a relationship looks different for every couple. Vulnerability is difficult because you open yourself up to the possibility of pain. However, if you really think about it, there is no way to be completely vulnerable and open with your partner unless you do face the fact that there may be some pain involved (via Women's Health). If you want to try vulnerability, open up an honest conversation with your partner. Talk about what frustrates you in your relationship and ask your significant other what may be frustrating them. When you do, expect to be surprised, but make a promise to yourself to be open to their feelings. This is not easy, but it can be relationship-changing.


Although it can feel intimidating to let your guard down and become vulnerable in your relationship, consider having open and honest conversations. Giving your time and your authentic self to someone you love can deepen your bond. As stated by PsychCentral, "Vulnerability fosters closeness, trust, and intimacy because it tells the person you're with that you trust them. This allows you to truly get to know each other: how you think, what you value, and what you aspire to." By deepening your connection, you can enhance your love life and save the relationship you've been building.