Signs You Have Relationship Anxiety And How To Navigate It

When you first start dating someone, it can be so magical. If the first few dates go well, you can bet the butterflies will start flapping, and the adrenaline rush of a new love will give you a special kind of invincibility. However, if you've been hurt in the past or have had past relationships that didn't go well, there may be a level of anxiety that pairs with this feeling of excitement, says Healthline. Sometimes, these uneasy feelings can manifest into something bigger and begin destroying the beautiful partnership you're trying to build.

No matter the reason, having a few anxious feelings about how a new love interest feels about you is normal. When it becomes abnormal is if it interferes with your peace and happiness (via Choosing Therapy). Some levels of this type of anxiety can cause sleepless nights and behavior that doesn't match with what is normal for you. If you're wondering if you have relationship anxiety, there are many ways to identify it.

Constantly checking on your partner

If you find that you feel compelled to check on your partner's whereabouts constantly, it may be a product of anxiety. Obsessively checking emails, text messages, or location statuses isn't a sign of a healthy relationship, says Good Housekeeping. Those who display this kind of behavior are looking for a kind of control that is too strong for each person in the relationship to be safe. VeryWell Mind explains that being too controlling of your partner is actually one of the first signs of being an abusive partner. If you find yourself doing this, try to recognize this behavior, back off a bit, and trust your partner. You may be surprised how your feelings toward each other improve.

Needing continuous validation

Another sign of an unhealthy anxiety level when it comes to your relationship is the constant need for validation. All of us need reassurance at times that we mean as much as we think we do to the person with whom we are in love, but needing it constantly can be dangerous. According to Health Shots, a person with relationship anxiety may question whether or not their partner really loves them or if they are just keeping them around for right now.  The need for validation can get in the way of you moving forward with your relationship and make you come off as too needy, pushing your loved one away.

Often picking fights

When one person is frustrated with another, it can take the form of conflict. If you find yourself picking needless fights with your significant other, it could be because you feel insecure about your spot in the relationship. This form of self-sabotage is common with those who feel like there is an imbalance in the partnership (via Psychology Today). Before speaking your mind about something trivial, take a deep breath and a few minutes to think. This can give you the space and time to approach your partner with care instead of conflict.

Overthinking every little thing

With all of the stress in the world, the last thing you need to do is add to your list of worries. We've all been guilty of thoughts spiraling out of control at times, but if these thoughts are about your relationship, it can only make things worse. Sometimes overthinking in this way can disrupt your sleep and cause you to have many anxiety-related issues during the day as well as at night. This type of overthinking really breaks a person down, making it so that it's virtually impossible to enjoy the relationship, mentions Choosing Therapy. If this is your experience, try a calming bedtime routine, meditate, or write in a gratitude journal. There are many ways to calm an anxious mind.

Missing out and what to do

Because relationship anxiety is all-encompassing, it can be debilitating to suffer through. If you feel yourself exhibiting these habits with your partner (or you believe your partner is the one with the anxiety), there are ways to overcome this. First, discuss these feelings with your significant other. If you are feeling anxious because of a past relationship, it is beneficial for your partner to know. Oftentimes they will ease your suffering and calm you about your worries. In addition, seek therapy if you are able, says Talk Space. Sometimes speaking to an objective outsider will help you sort out the root of the problem. 

Sharing your life with another person can be wonderful, but if you have fears and insecurities eating away at you, it may be relationship anxiety to blame. Talk to your partner, seek out advice, and try to enjoy the beauty of being together.