Toxic Friendships Can Be Weeded Out. Here's How

As we enter into a new season of weather, you may feel yourself wanting to shed things that weigh you down. Fall and winter are times of quiet, reflection, and hibernation. These seasons contrast beautifully with the vibrance and liveliness of spring and summer. While you physically seek refuge and calm, you may feel the need to also do this in other areas of your life that have become too difficult and too heavy. During the darker months, some declutter their homes, garages, and offices, and some feel the need to clean out friendships that have become toxic. 


Disposing of friends that don't give you back what you are desiring in a friend can be tricky. They were an important part of your life for a good amount of time, but just like weather seasons, your season of friendship may have come and gone. Holding on to toxic friendships can cause unneeded stress and can be detrimental to your wellbeing (via The Jordan Harbinger Show). That's why there has never been a better time to reclaim your peace. Although it can be tricky, there are ways to break up with friends who no longer add joy to your life while maintaining respect and care for all involved.

Decide on your approach

Before approaching your friend with your intention to break up, evaluate your friendship to really get clear on your feelings. Psych Central recommends creating a list of reasons you want out of the friendship. Putting your feelings on paper will help you sort out exactly what it is that is frustrating you about your friendship. Your list will likely reveal some boundary crossing that this friend may do. According to Business Insider, you should also ask yourself if the friendship is one-sided. Is it overly negative, or is there unneeded drama always surrounding your friend?


If your answer is yes to many of these questions, it may be time to break up. Breaking up with romantic partners happens all the time, but breaking up a friendship is trickier. Canada Living explains that this ending can be a bit painful, but if you are clear with your intentions and honest with your friend, things may go smoother than you expect. Alternatively, if confronting your friend is too hard, Health Shots advises gradually fading them out of your life, and then cutting them off completely. Nothing good can come from extending the breakup period, and you owe it to yourself and your ex-friend to move on.

What not to do

Just as there is a right way to go about cutting off a toxic friendship, there is definitely a wrong way as well. When you have made your decision, stand strong in what you feel, remembering why you needed to cut off the friendship in the first place. Also, avoid ghosting your friend completely and making this breakup long and needlessly painful (via Psych Central). In addition, Woman's Day emphasizes that it's important not to be too hard on yourself and expect to grieve a little from this loss. If you are having too difficult of a time moving on, seeking advice from a therapist is always a good idea.


Throughout our seasons of life, we change multiple times. If you are feeling the need to cut out someone from your life who brings toxic vibes and drama, honor your feelings by removing this friend from your circle. A breakup of this kind can be challenging, so be gentle with yourself as you attempt to navigate prioritizing your own needs. Knowing that the breakup may hurt, and that you'll need some time to grieve, may be the best way to start before reclaiming your time and energy back from a toxic friend.