Your First Holiday Season After A Major Loss Can Be Hard. Here's How To Navigate It

The holiday season can be difficult for many reasons, whether that's because mental and physical well-being has taken the back seat to plans with others or because of issues such as disordered eating that can be triggered by events featuring food. Another difficulty is grieving the loss of a loved one during the holiday season. When it's that time of year when many people are focused on celebrating with family members and friends, realizing that someone won't be there to join in the festivities can be really hard and bring up a wide range of reactions, as the Mayo Clinic Health System discusses.

This is normal. In fact, Lisa Tutskey, a licensed family therapist, told the Wisconsin Rapids Tribune about the nature of grief, saying, "Grief is a process toward acceptance, with the understanding that sadness is forever — but that sadness isn't always going to consume every moment of every day, like it does in the beginning. It slowly eases."

While we at Glam can't offer a one-size-fits-all solution, there are certainly tips out there for making it through the holidays after experiencing a loss, and we're happy to share them. At the same time, it is important to reach out to a trusted resource, including mental health services, if necessary.

If you or someone you know needs help with mental health, please contact the Crisis Text Line by texting HOME to 741741, call the National Alliance on Mental Illness helpline at 1-800-950-NAMI (6264), or visit the National Institute of Mental Health website.

First, if you're navigating the holiday season following the loss of a loved one, check in with yourself. After all, Psychology Today notes that grief isn't one emotion. Instead, it's likely to be made of a whole bunch of different emotions all at once. Furthermore, the University of Washington outlines the different phases of grief identified by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross that may sound familiar, but what might be less apparent is that these aren't as clear-cut as they might seem. For example, the University of Washington writes that denial can manifest itself as procrastination or forgetfulness, and bargaining can include overthinking about what has happened.

Try to get in touch with how you're feeling and account for any other factors that may be affecting your emotional responses. Based on your personal experiences, this may mean that you would prefer to engage in the same traditions as you would have if you hadn't suffered a loss, or you might choose to handle things differently.

If you or someone you know needs help with mental health, please contact the Crisis Text Line by texting HOME to 741741, call the National Alliance on Mental Illness helpline at 1-800-950-NAMI (6264), or visit the National Institute of Mental Health website.

Although it might sound easier said than done, don't be afraid to put yourself first. VITAS Healthcare points out the importance of setting expectations. If you don't feel up to doing what you normally would as you grieve your loss during the holidays, don't push yourself to follow your usual routine. At the same time, however, VITAS Healthcare cautions people against isolating themselves from the support systems they have around them. Headspace echoes similar sentiments, describing the need to set boundaries with others while making space for time alone if needed. In other words, the key is to strike a balance between avoiding the holidays in their entirety and burning out by taking on too much.

As Psychology Today mentions, it's also perfectly okay to do things differently for the holidays than you have before, and doing things differently in the first holiday season following a loss doesn't mean that you have to do them that way forever, either. As an alternative, you can choose to adapt what you traditionally have done during the holidays and find a way to honor the person or people you've lost with a new tradition that you can carry forward. Again, none of this is easy, but with time, you'll be able to create new traditions and adapt old ones in a way to carry on healthily.

If you or someone you know needs help with mental health, please contact the Crisis Text Line by texting HOME to 741741, call the National Alliance on Mental Illness helpline at 1-800-950-NAMI (6264), or visit the National Institute of Mental Health website.